Red vs Blue, Chain Letters
by Agent Texas
Summary: Big surprises and romances that last a lifetime are discovered. When Tex is moved to Houston Texas Church sends her love letters, but the Director has different plans in mind.
1. Chapter 1

**Chain Letters**

Emily Elane

Chain Letters: Chapter One: Bedrooms and Fires

Four years after Maine was put behind bars with the Director and Wash becoming almost a war hero; Church was just sitting in the kitchen at blue base with Caboose chatting in his ear. How could it all lead to this? Stuck here with Caboose for all eternity?

He was miserable.

The only good thing that had happened recently, was Tex had come back and they had started dating again. Tucker had came back too, but he wasn't about to have a party for that. I mean, its just Tucker, right? Yes, it was just Tucker. All he had done was hit on Tex the whole time after arriving and even though she had given him a good ass beating for it, he wasn't about to stop. The private just threw around and played with every idea that popped into his head. Church sighed.

Who was he kidding? It was nice to have the whole team back. Well, almost all of it. Sister was still missing and Doc was somewhere probably dead or just wandering around like a little lost puppy on the 4th of July.

"And that was my family's trip to Spanish Land." Church finally turned to him as Grif sat backwards on his chair, a cigarette between his lips and wearing just a tee-shirt and sweatpants.

The reds were having to share the base with them until their base got filtered out from some dangerous cleaning supplies Sarge had used to try and kill Grif with.

"I told you it existed!!" Grif shouted to Simmons who sat at the island only five feet away, looking in his microscope with papers scattered around. He looked at Grif from above the glasses rested on his nose.

"Wait-you're getting information from Caboose?" Grif stared at him silently and blew out smoke.

"I see your point…" Simmons nodded an went back to looking in the microscope.

"Greatest family trip since Disneyland," Caboose said.

Church felt anger growing with every word. Why were they so incompetent? he asked himself more then once. But he never came up with a satisfying answer. All he figured was that they were just retarded and always would be.

Just then Tex decided to walk in, choosing to stand in the doorway with her hands on her hips. Church looked at her, noticing how she looked young and lively as she posed like that.

Her eyes seemed to fly over everyone like a bird on the hunt; but she stopped on Church. He smiled awkwardly, making her scowl.

"What are you smiling about?" she snapped.

"Nothing," he said reluctantly.

"You sure?"

"Yep." She just stared at him suspiciously for a moment and then her gaze shifted to Simmons.

"What 'ya up to?" while Simmons wrote something down on a piece of paper with his pen, he attempted an explanation:

"Looking at the atoms of a hair from Grif-"

"Boring." Simmons sighed an went back to looking in the scope.

"Told you.." Grif murmured under his breath. Simmons held back from starting a fight. It wasn't worth his time.

"I'm so totally bored," Tex announced. It was silent until she continued, "Anyone got any ideas of what to do?" Church felt like jumping on the opportunity; but instead he turned when Tucker rushed in breathing heavily. His body language suggested something dreadful had happen.

"I can give you something to do, Tex! Bow chicka bow wow!" She just stood; silent.

"How the hell did you even know I said that?" she asked as Church laughed in the background.

"Like I said back in Blood Gulch, I'm like Superman; I know when I'm needed."

"Get out of here you dumb ass!" With that Tucker took off running back into the living room with Tex only chasing him to the doorway. There, she stopped and began to laugh manically.

Successful in her attempt to scare him to death, she sat down on the table an swung her legs still laughing.. "Anyone want to do anything with me?" Everyone was silent until Tucker yelled from the other room. He had to be the only person in the universe with the guts to hit on her.

"I'll do something with you! Bow chicka bow wow!" She said nothing and stopped swinging her legs.

"We could go have a picnic or take a walk," Church spoke up finally and she looked at him with surprise.

"Uh...what about both?" Church responded by smiling pleasantly.

"Sure. What do you want for dinner?"

"Anything. You know me well enough to just pick something." Grif watched them curiously as they ogled at each another.

"Okay. Sure you don't have preference?" She nodded as he set his hand on top of hers. She didn't attempt to stab him, but she made a face.

"Can you bring me back any leftovers?" They both turned to Grif. "Can you?"

"Sure," Church complied. It was the only way they'd save enough until the next drop. Grif would eat all their food otherwise. Just like he had a couple weeks ago-----they'd had to live through one entire day without food.

"Thanks, Dude." Church ignored that as Tex stood up. She still held onto his hand, starting to pull on him. He wasn't even effected by her attempt to get him to his feet.

"What is it?" She only pulled harder, but he held tightly to his seat, determined to not be pulled away.

"Come on." He hated it when she wouldn't tell him and wasn't going to move unless she told him.

"To where?" Using all her strength to pulled him up, now she grunted.

"To Caboose's room." That room was totaled; Caboose had done the unbelievable to that room. Everything: nailed food to the wall, pictures of Church everywhere, love letters to Sheila, tank magazines scattered everywhere, old muffins from his previous attempts to win Sheila back, pictures of his parents, and brothers. And Church was not in the mood to deal with that.

Nowhere near.

"Why?" Stopping she spoke:

"Because he stole some of my clothes." He tilted his head.

"Why?"

"I have no idea." He looked to Caboose across the table. The blue private responded with a smile of glee.

"Why, Caboose?"

"I was hoping Sheila might like them if she turns into a real person." Church pressed his lips together and stood.

"Don't steal anymore of my girlfriend's stuff." With that, they started walking to Caboose room still joined at the hands.

Neither of them said anything an they reached his door in the hallway; Church closed his eyes an sighed before opening the door. He really hadn't wanted to go inside; but he did anyway.

The walls had waffles, pictures of Church, love letters; the floor was covered in tank magazines, old, ant infested muffins and the bed was made, but had a big ripple in it. Pictures of his comrades family was placed on the nightstands by his bed----Church wondered if Caboose even remembered any of them.

He parted from Tex, went over to the closet and opened it as she trailed behind gingerly.

The closet had Caboose's clothes and Tex's: pajamas, underwear, bras, pants, shirts and socks. "He stole a lot," Church pointed out an she nodded as he started grabbing some. She grabbed the rest. "Just one question," she nodded. "Why did you need me to come with you?" for a moment, she thought about it. The only thing she came to was that: she didn't need, she wanted.

"I didn't." He stared at her for a moment in silence.

"Then, why did you ask me to help you?"

"Because I wanted your help." It was simple, but he felt comfort in knowing she had wanted his help for once. Or even just wanted help period.

For the first time he'd ever seen, she smile graciously before walking off. But because she was staring at Church, she slipped and landed with a thud to the ground. "Ow!" He looked down to her and she snarled.

Setting the items in his hands on the bed, he held his hand out to her; she grabbed it and stood again.

"You okay? That looked like a painful dive." She sneered at him.

"I'm fine." He grabbed his pile again as she gathered hers from the floor.

He stood, waiting patiently by the doorway.

When she stood, her hands were full and a strand of her hair was in her face; she blew on it to get it to move, but it just fell back down. After two more tries, she curse aloud, "Goddammit!!" He motioned for her to come closer and she snarled.

"Come here." She shook her head in disagreement and walked passed him. "Fine. Never mind."

She casually looked toward him as they walked to her room. Night black hair, dark brown eyes, five o-clock shadow…

She rarely took a minute to just think about how attractive he was---she did though regret it. And whether she would admit it aloud or not: she knew that she was lucky to have gotten a man like him.

It's not like she's the classic women like in old movies who cooks, cleans, gets married, has kids, and enforces the rules. No, that wasn't her and it never would be. Actually she doubted she would ever get that chance. Whether it mattered to her or not, Church had always had commitment issues. Not with anyone but her; just Tex. Even Tucker or Caboose, he might make some kind of commitment to or with. Such as: promising to help clean their rooms or make breakfast. But when it came to her, it was as if the rules no longer applied. He would never make promises to her----not even to make breakfast or take her to lunch. Why? She wasn't sure, but she felt some kind of jealousy from that. She stopped herself from asking----it was a useless battle she wouldn't be able to win.

"You okay?" She blinked in surprise.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He wasn't buying it and when they reached her door. Church opened the door for her and she went in, tossing her clothes on the floor and then grabbed the rest from him an tossing it into the pile.

"Can I come in?" She looked at him warily.

"I don't know..." He stared at her, his disappointment causing her to pause. When they made eye contact, she sighed. "Fine." He smiled and the disappointment disappeared. She moved to make room for him to come through and he strolled in as she ran her vision up and down him as if he had the plague.

He looked around: her twin sized bed was in the far corner---with a window above it, a side table placed next to it with a lamp, pistol, and picture placed on it and her dresser was black, placed toward the foot of her bed. Tex had a small vanity that looked unused a brush laying on it with her Red hair stuck between the bristles, a small makeup bag that looked completely untouched with dust covering it and some ponytail holders. Her pile of stolen clothes from Caboose was tossed by her bed and shoes lined up in front of the wall passed her table.

He turned to her and smiled, before turning around an strolling passed the vanity running his hand along the brim. His two fingers were covered in dust. Just as he'd thought; she hadn't ever used that thing.

He chuckled softly to himself and looked down to the heartwood pine floor. Old newspaper clippings hung on the walls with reports of crimes.

"Why're you so nervous about showing off your room, Babe?" She felt something inside her tighten. And without knowing it, she held her breath. Being called babe, was something he hadn't done in awhile. He stopped and ogled; she felt his eyes on her ana felt stunned. It became an uncomfortable silence quickly.

She snapped out of it a moment later and shook her head.

"My-my room?" She cursed herself quietly for replying so shakily.

"Yes, your room. Who's room do you think I'm talking about?" She tried to shake it off and regain her composer.

"Um...what was your question?" She cursed again under her breath quietly.

"Never mind." He smiled and crashed on her bed with a sigh of pain an relief----his back was killing him. Why, precisely, he wasn't sure.

She leaned against the wall ahead of her door an scanned him up and down nervously as he closed his eyes and sighed again.

She turned her rubbernecked gaze away from him and closed her eyes with a sigh, why did she feel so intruded? It was just lazy, old Church after all. What was he going to do? Plus, she'd known him for more then ten years. She probably trusted him more then he trusted her. Now she just felt stupid. He wasn't going to do anything---at least anything that she was worried about. The worst he could do was try and seduce her, and when she thought about it, it might not be that bad.

She turned to him again, still he hadn't moved and Tex felt herself getting more secure with his presence. With that settling, she opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out but a soft whimper rose from her throat. He flung open his eyes and turned to her. "You okay?" She nodded rapidly.

"Yeah." He stretched out an turned to the picture on her side table. It was a picture of them getting ready to leave for prom. Church laugh aloud at himself. In the picture he had braces, barely a shadow, his hair was much too long, one of his eyes were twitching and he looked basically retarded.

Tex on the other hand looked gorgeous. Her red hair was back----showing her face off, her eyes looked at the camera excitedly, her skin was pinkish and she barely had any makeup on---only some mascara, light Pink blush and lip gloss. She had a Black dress on that hit above her knee and fit tightly, a halter. He then remembered that she had ended up taking her shoes off and he'd carried her to his pickup, then to her door.

She had thought that was charming at the time and his only response was to say she was delusional. He'd never cared or wanted to be charming, but somehow, she had fallen for it. Maybe, he guessed, it was because no one else was knocking on her door. Or maybe it was because she hated charming men.

He laughed reminiscently and set it back on her table.

She had been gazing longingly at him the entire time and he flashed a smiled at her. With that she started to walk over, but was stopped when she heard Tucker's voice behind her in the doorway. "What 'ya guys doing in here?" Tex turned on her heel and held her hands on her hips.

"What are you doing?" He stared at her for a moment and felt his heartbeat raise as she stared at him with annoyance. With panic, he struggled for his next words. If he screwed up, she would snap at him, if he hit on her, she'd snap at him, if he said something intelligent she would snap, too.

"Uh…standing." She felt her blood boil. Now he was being a smart ass. That was something she had no tolerance for.

Tex sneer heavily an Church stood quickly. He knew where this was going: Tucker was going to die.

Church mouthed the words, 'You dumb ass' to him.

"You're such a smart ass! You couldn't have said something less intelligent!?" Tex snarled to him and Tucker shuddered by her violent tone.

"Sorry! I wasn't sure what to say!" he explained back.

"And now you've seen my room!" He hadn't noticed until now.

"You're right, I forgot I've never seen your room." Allison tightened her hands to fists and surprisingly, only slammed the door in his face; causing Tucker to flinched and blinked quickly. He thought about what had just happened. She didn't hit him? It was like, the first time in history. Tucker smiled happily and strolled off to his room.

Church stared at her, horrified by what she might be planning to do to him since Tucker was gone.

But she instead turned around, walked past him and flipped on her lamp, but he was still frozen in place. She moved some hair from her face and sighed, flopping on her bed as he turned around. Tex just looked at him and then moved over as if making room for him. Was this a demented game? Was she screwing with him?

He looked at her, stunned and she knew. "What?" She only sounded frustrated to the point of giving up, so Church shrugged.

"I don't know." Tex only looked into his eyes and then knew what was wrong.

"Church, I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at Tucker." He smiled. Should he really lie in bed all day with her? Did she really want him to?

Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes glassy as he stared at her. He remembered why he'd joined the military anyway: her. And if even just for a moment, he felt like it had been worth it.

So, Church laid on the bed and lifted his left arm, allowing her to slipped under it and rest her head on his chest. Closing her eyes as he lowered his arm around her.

Neither one of them could remember the last time they had laid like. Peaceful, loving, happy. They were also feeling secure; though she remembered they hadn't been alone for over five years or more with each other.

But she only nuzzled closer and he shifted to get more comfortable.

Not even three minutes later, they both drifted to sleep. The whole night, neither one of them moved and they ended up sleeping much later then they had planned.

At ten AM, Tex woke up; slowly opened her eyes first then closed them quickly----it was too bright to just open them. She blinked rapidly before opening them completely. She felt that her arm under him was completely numb and so was her hand. She whimpered and pulled herself from him.

The bed was too cramped for two people and that's probably part of the reason they never moved.

She whimpered again, sitting up in bed. Her entire body was stiff and numb-----also sweaty. Tired still and her eyes felt like the were made of led.

Tex carefully tried to crawl over him. Tried as the keyword. Instead, she fell to the floor with a bang. "DAMMIT!!" He sat up and looked at her face in between his legs. She waved, trying to hide that she was sheepish. "Morning." He sent her a cocky smile, stood up and reached out his hand to help her up. She took his hand and he helped her.

When they were both standing, she kissed him on the cheek and he yawned ann stretched his arms.

"What time is it?" Tex looked at the clock on the wall, but her vision was too blurred to read it. So she rubbed her eyes until they were clear.

"Ten, ten AM." He brushed some of the hair from her face and kissed her. Strangely, she let him and kissed back. He wrapped his arms around her and she patted his cheek. He pulled away laughing, she hit him again and laughed also.

They heard a knock at the door and she walked over and opened the door as though someone was knocking on her apartment door. It was Caboose.

"Church? Are you in there?" Tex moved, leaning against the door as thin as she could. Caboose's eyes grew huge upon spotting Church. "CHURCH!" He ran over and hugged him, gaining a sneer in response.

"Hi, Caboose…" he mumbled and Caboose grabbed his wrist and led him out of the room. She could hear Church cursing the whole way and watched from her doorway laughing before then blowing a kiss. Church spotted and was partially stunned.

Why was she being so nice to him? It made no sense. One day, she hates him and the next, she loves him.

Loves, loves, the word ran through his head. Could she? No, she couldn't, could she? He shook his head to ban the thought; it was probably just hormones or something and would pass.

But it didn't pass.

For the next two weeks, she continued her streak. They still had fights, they just weren't near as bad as before. As time went on, he started questioning how well he had known her and if they really did love each other. He didn't actually believe though until a humid, and clear evening when the reds were having a cookout by the ramp. The sun was set already and they had a fire set with chairs around it.

Grif was sitting, wishing he had something to prop his feet up on. Simmons was helping Sarge get more wood. Donut was trying to read scary stories---that no one was listing to. Caboose was staring gawkily at the fire. Tucker sat in a chair near the fire, wishing he had a women; and Church was waiting impatiently for Tex as he sat in a seat across from Tucker.

He heard footsteps an turned to see Doc. "Doc?" He smiled at Church.

"Yeah! I found you guys!" Church sighed, he had wanted it to be Tex, but it hadn't.

Doc sat down away from most of them, as if he was fearing becoming a part of the group again.

Sarge came back and Simmons and him were both carrying firewood.

"Lift with your back! Its the most powerful part of your body! And don't breathe! That only makes it harder!" Simmons knew his advice was false, so he only pretended to do it.

After the set it down by Sarge's chair Simmons spoke.

"Great advice, Sir." Sarge looked at him proudly his, gray and blond hair blowing in the wind.

"Great man." With that, Sarge sat down and Simmons sat down next to Grif.

"Kiss ass..." he mumbled right before they noticed Doc. "Doc?" He waved to everyone.

"Hi guys! I'm back!" Caboose was too distracted still to notice and Church jumped when he heard Tex from behind him.

"Hey Doc," she said as sat down next to Church wearing: blue jeans, a tank top and jogging shoes. Doc watched as she kissed Church on the cheek before speaking. "Guess what was on TV." He said nothing, so she continued, "Lost." He smiled, it was a miracle, considering they were in the future.

"Really?" She nodded and he kissed her tenderly. Normally, she would have pulled away, but instead, she went into it, kissing him back more tenderly. Tucker laughed and spoke up as he enjoyed their public display of affection.

"Dude! Tonight is going to be just like a shitty reality show!" They both pulled away.

"Why shitty?" Tex asked.

"I don't know." She laughed and grabbed Church hand. He felt his heart rise to his chest and something inside tighten. Why was she being so nonchalant about it? Like it didn't matter what people said? It wasn't like her at all.

She traced his thumb and he swallowed nervously, but she didn't seem to notice how nervous he was, and he was happy for that. If she did, she might call him a wimp or a pussy. So he focused on keeping his palms from getting sweaty---she would surely notice that, right?

He felt her dig her nails into his palm though. It didn't hurt, but his muscles tightened and his body seemed to go stiff. He looked at her; the reflection of the fire in her eyes, the warm colors from it projecting onto her skin and giving it a sudden warmth. Her hair lifting lightly in the wind. She looked beautiful.

Church just gazed at her and she turned to him and their eyes met. His heart fluttered like a heart attack and as if she could tell how he was feeling, she smiled showing her white teeth.

Without thinking about what he would say, he spoke.

"I love you." Immediately after, he cursed himself internally, expecting to be thrown into the fire. But instead, she smiled softly and suddenly, as she opened her mouth to speak, he felt like he was already in the fire.

"I love you too." He suddenly stared at her, gape and the entire camp went silent. The fire cracked an popped.

No one said a word for about a minute Church swore, before Tucker spoke, breaking the silence.

"What the fuck? Are you drugging her?" Church shook his head and smiled. "Then she's taking something." Tucker was wrong, she wasn't, though she kind of felt embarrassed now, and a bit stupid.

Church still was staring at her, mouth agape. She felt fire rise to her cheeks---they had to be at least pink. He then shook his head in disbelief and closed his mouth as she smiled, shyly looking away.

"That's so cute!" Donut shouted and squealed. Church turned her facing him and kissed her.

When they both pulled away, she smiled and touched his chin with her thumb.

"You're the one who started it," she bantered.

"I know," he replied back and she chuckled lightly, a smile spreading across her lips.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two. Lustrous Diamonds And Surprises

The next few weeks seemed to move by rapidly. Tex seemed happy for the first time in a long while as so did Church. Tucker couldn't stand them, Caboose hated Tex---something about stealing his best friend and Sarge gave them a talk. Grif fell asleep during Sarge's talk, Simmons finished a new experiment, Donut gave Sister a makeover after she returned, Sister loved Donut, Tex finally finished a book she'd been meaning to finish and Church sat alone in his room with the door wide open.

Tucker started to walked by and stopped upon seeing Church inside his room still. He walked backward to his doorway.

It was silent as he gazed nervously at the ground as if something was on his mind.

Tucker said nothing and Sister ran up behind him. She happily grabbed his wrist tugging on it to get him to follow, but he motioned for her to run ahead. She gave him a puzzled expression before bounding off outside. He walked in and his sandals made a thud with every step. He wasn't sure why Church was so quiet or why he was in his room alone, but he wanted to know why he looked so nervous. Did it involve Tex? Was this personal? He wanted to blog about it either way. So he stepped forward one last time and finally spoke. "What's wrong?" Church shuddered as if he hadn't noticed he was there at all.

"Hey Tucker. I'm just thinking.." His voice trailed as he glanced downward to something in his hands.

"About what?" To explain, he held up his dog tags to show Tucker: a silver, half carat engagement ring with a single diamond in the center. Tucker then got frozen and his body seemed to go numb. Church was just insane right now, right? He wasn't serious about this, right? He wasn't that crazy, no, Tucker knew he wasn't. Or, was he?

He managed to unfreeze enough to speak, but that was all. "Are you insane?!" Church just stared at him for a moment.

"I don't know. I know I love her, I just don't know if I'm ready to commit fully to her." Tucker nodded.

"Your not! Now, forget this whole thing!" Church still stayed sitting down as Tucker started to run off, thinking he was following. When he heard no footsteps behind him, he turned around---stopped in the doorway. "Are you coming?"

"Where's Tex anyway?" Tucker wondered if he'd even heard him.

"Where's who?" Tex asked stopped in the doorway wearing a Black bikini. They had all decided to go swimming today, using the fact that almost everyone in the gang was back together.

"You." Tucker said and she looked in to Church. Lucky him, she was so far away, it was near impossible to see what was on the dog tags.

"Come on dumb ass, the reds are out swimming and we're standing in here chatting." Tucker stepped to the side as Church got up in his blue swim trunks and stopped in front of her. "Good now lets go." She started to walk off, but Church gently grabbed her wrist. Tucker stepped back again as she turned to him with a scowl. Without a warning, he got down on one knee and held up the ring on the dog tags. Perplexed, she looked around. "Am I being pranked?" He shook his head.

"No. Will you marry me, Allison Beth?" She took a moment to see if there was anything else, but there was nothing.

"Are you seriously asking me?" He nodded.

The suspense was tearing him up, ripping him limb from limb. Why wouldn't she answer? Is she just trying to get on his nervous?

In that split second she put her hands over her mouth with a gasp and nodded; Tucker rolled his eyes and Church rose, expecting that to be the end, but she hugged him.

Tucker started walking outside and Tex pulled him closer---if that was possible. He lifted her feet off the wood and she bent them. This felt a little crazy, and he knew she would probably feel dumb about it all later, but he tried to enjoy it now.

After he set her on the ground and they moved away, she started to run off, but he grabbed her wrist and stopped her again. "What is it this time?"

"Don't just walk out there and as soon as your feet hit the grass, tell everyone." She looked at him, puzzled.

"Are you already having second guesses? I mean, I don't even have the ring on yet." He looked at his dog tags.

"Well, that's because its stuck on the chain, and no!" Silence followed for a moment.

"You got that thousand dollar ring stuck on your dog tags?" He hung his head shamefully and she laughed. "It's okay asshole, I won't tell them as soon as my feet hit the grass." He nodded and they started walking as he examined the dog tags.

When they got out of the base, standing on the metal Tex shouted. "I'm getting married!" Church shuddered and she sent him a pleased snarl.

"Smart ass." She smirked and crossed her arms.

"I try." Tex gave him a cocky smile and he sent her one back, lifting his eyebrows.

Sister suddenly bounded from the water and hugged Tex. The excitement was plain on the young girl's face.

"Oh my god!" Tex didn't hug her back, and rolled her eyes to Church.

Caboose ran over, glaring at Church. they both said nothing and Sister stopped hugging and started jumping. "That's so great! Jump with me!" Tex followed her with her eyes, making no attempt to do as she'd asked.

"Not happening." Sister stopped and hung her head, giving lip as she started to walk off.

"C'mon, Tex, would it kill you to jump with her just a couple times?" Tex sneered at Church and then sighed, noticing he was serious. Angry, she grabbed Sister's wrist. The girl looked at Tex hopefully.

"Goddammit," Tex cursed before sighing again. "Will you..." She looked to Church again. "Jump with me?" she asked between cinching teeth. Sister grinned and started jumping happily. Tex started jumping, feeling like the dumbest person alive.

They did that for a few moments.

After she stopped, Tex pushed Sister into the water and snickered as she turned around. "So, totally, worth it." Church shook his head, smiling.

For the next few hours they all swam and argued as expected. Sarge _tried_ to frame Grif for him almost drowning----though everyone knew Sarge had done it. Caboose and Tucker teamed up on Church for asking Tex to marry him as she watched from a distance hypnotically. Donut bothered Tex about how she needed to have her dream wedding and she snapped back, saying she wanted the quickest and easiest wedding in history. She knew that was what she had wanted her whole, entire life. Not that she'd ever planned on any of this. Or expected. Oh, no, she'd expected to be alone until she died. But then Church came into her life and turned it upside down-----twisted her reality.

He'd changed her mind about everything she'd ever thought or was sure of. She could think of a couple things: one would be marriage. Her mind had always been set on doing what needed to be done and never caring about marriage. But he had convinced her otherwise years ago. Another thing, was that all men were losers and perverts. No, they weren't. Just most of them. Like Tucker.

A shiver ran down her back and she stuck her tongue out and pointed to her mouth.

Tucker. He was the lowest of the low, the loser of losers, he put the _ass_ in asshole, the _jack _in jackass. Treating women like he did, was the wrong of the wrong.

She, for a moment, imagined how many women's lives he'd probably ruined, but then, she smiled; probably none. He was probably still a virgin, that is, if he acted like he did with her. "I will rock your world"? How the hell was he going to get any dates talking that shit?

Tex laughed at herself as she sat on the ground and gingerly jutted her feet in the water----not too cold, just a bit. She felt Church's hands on her arms as they ran from her shoulders, to her wrists. She sighed deeply before she leaning back to see him smiling at her. She laughed.

How the hell had she fall for him? Of all the men in the world, it had to be Leonard Church. Lazy Leonard Church,_ dead_ Leonard Church. He wasn't rich, he wasn't a genius, certainly wasn't a team player or leader, not athletic, not successful, loving, charming, friendly, humble----or anything like that. But she now stared up to him with the sun shining behind his head as though it was a halo.

He wasn't looking at her as she laid her head on his lap now, but instead, he was trying to talk to Caboose. She could see his throat and jaw moving as he did, but she wasn't listening to him speaking. Tex closed her eyes and wondered what he was thinking right now.

She smiled and he looked down to her. She looked so dreamlike with her Red hair spread across his lap, eyes closed and a smile across her face.

He brushed some hair from her face so he could get a better view, and thought about how happy she looked.

He'd never seen her that way before----though a part of him was sad she was acting so much nicer. He liked bitchy Tex. She always had him on his toes, on the edge of his seat, always on high alert waiting for her to strike again. Now, she seemed so nice he wanted to know if she really was on drugs.

Then, he thought about how to make her bitchy and tilted his head.

Well, he could always disgust her, or insult her…no, he needed something to keep her mad until midnight, so he could make things all better by getting off the engagement ring. He could possibly embarrass her until she wanted to die, but then he'd just get killed. He could do something completely retarded, but then he'd just look like the dumb ass.

A light bulb seemed to ignite in his head.

What if he tried to get her knocked up right in front of everyone? It would be the perfect idea. She would be just embarrassed enough to run off and be pissed for hours, but not enough to kill him---mostly because he would just say it was sexy when she beat him to death.

So, he decided that was his plan of attack.

Now what was he going to do or say? One line he thought of, was something his dad would always use to piss off his mom in front of company.

He snickered and she opened her eyes, 'causing him to look down to her.

She scowled.

It was obvious what he was going to do-----she knew that laugh. He was going to try and embarrass her.

So, she sat up and turned to him.

"What is it, Darling?" he asked and she stared at him.

"Nothing." She didn't want him knowing she had suspicions, that would just complicate things, and that was something so didn't want _or _need.

Then without warning he grabbed her ass and she smacked his hand. He looked at her with a smirk and she shook her head, warning him.

Tex knew where this was going.

He went in for a kiss and she tried to push him away. But he pushed her to the ground. She shook her head again and spoke. "Don't you fucking dare." He chuckled and ran his hands up to the sides of her bikini bottoms. Slowly, he started pulling them down. She smacked him across the face, but he continued. Finally, she pushed him off her and pulled it back up before sitting.

He reached into her cleavage an she kicked him away. "You son of a bitch." They now gained the attention of everyone at base. She stood up, but he stood up and kissed her forcefully as he pulled her leg up to his hip. She hit his arm away and kicked him in the groin. He started to fall over, but she pushed him into the water next to make sure he was out of the way.

Sister laughed and Tex dusted off her hands together.

Just as she was about to walk inside, he recovered enough to yell out to her the line his father had used.

"Come back, Babe! I'm sex-starved!" Tex stopped in her tracks and felt heat rise to her cheeks. Tucker began to laughed his ass off, Sister put her hand on her mouth, Caboose stared gawk at Church, Simmons dropped his experiment, Sarge stopped from daydreaming about killing Grif. Donut stared agape at Tex, and the now just arriving Wash, stopped in his tracks out-front.

"Am I sure I want to come here?" he asked and then abruptly turned around. "I'm leaving while I still can." He walked away towards his warthog.

Tex couldn't turn around now----she was too embarrassed. So she only said one sentence.

"I _will _get you back for this." Then she walked inside.

Tucker's face was red since he was laughing so hard he was gasping for air. But he managed to speak through his laughs.

"That was hilarious!" Church smirked and started laughing also. While that happened, Grif laughed an spoke.

"That was so worth being awake for." Sister and Donut were disgusted though.

Doc just walked out with a plate of hot dogs ready to be cooked, unsuspecting of what had just happened..

"Who wants their weenies roasted?!" Tucker started laughing even harder now, along with Church. "What?"

An hour later, they all went inside after a _long, eventful,_ chat with Caboose about the birds and bees.

Tex had never made a reappearance and Church wasn't surprised. He still had no regrets though, getting her pissed off was totally worth the laughs. Now, he just hoped she wouldn't be so pissed she'd brake off the engagement. It wouldn't stun him though.

He walked inside and into her room to see if she was okay, but she wasn't in there. Confused, he strolled to his room instead. Immediately, he went stiff.

His room was trashed, every element about it. His CD rack was toppled over, magazines had water poured on them and were scattered on the ground, his bed was flipped and on his wall, was spray painted: Fuck you asshole. I hope you die. AGAIN! Love, Tex.

He wasn't surprised.

When Tucker walked by, drying his hair with a towel, he stopped behind Church. They both did nothing until Tucker hit him on the shoulder and pressed his lips together sympathetically. He then turned to see Tex coming down the hallway. Tucker cursed before moving.

Church turned to her and, almost literally, saw fire in her eyes and recoiled. Was that just his imagination?

She inched closer and he took an involuntary step back again. He was scared to death-----she looked so dangerous standing there her, Black skinny jeans, Black teeshirt and White jogging shoes with her arms crossed and her scowl.

She started tapping her foot and he gawked. She scoffed a moment later. "Aren't you gonna try and makeup with me?" He thought about it. Should he? She was kind of being a bitch. But then again, it was his fault. Still, didn't have to be a bitch.

"Nope." Her eyes widened and she stared at him slightly gawk herself now.

"Nope?" He shook his head, and walked into his trashed room. "Nope?" she repeated incredulously as he stepped over magazines and then started picking them up. The water dripped everywhere, so he sat the one he had down on thee ground and started jogging to the closet down the hall. She followed him like a lost puppy.

"Your really not going to makeup?" He nodded and opened the closet, grabbed two towels an started walking back---her still at his side. "Why not?" He turned into his room and she still followed. But he snarled at her for asking that as he stepped in his room.

She looked around. "But this is your fault. I wouldn't have trashed your room if you hadn't been a pervert." He started drying off the magazines one by one on their covers then laying them open on the floor, but still, said nothing.

Somehow, she felt guilty, but she wasn't quite sure why. Was it because he was giving her the silent treatment? Because she knew he was mad? Or that he'd never _not _wanted to makeup with her? Whatever it was, she felt horrible.

She thought about apologizing and wondered if it would do any good. He was pretty pissed. Though part of her still blamed him, I mean, if he hadn't pissed her off then...no, she shook her head. "I'm sorry." He continued working as if she hadn't said a word. She looked around as Tucker watched from the doorway and then put aside her pride and started helping him fix his room.

That had been what he had wanted from her.

She started picking up his CDs noticing some were crushed and useless. Now she felt bad for that, and wondered why. She had never felt guilty about this stuff before. Never, just today, and she even had had a reason.

But she still felt that way.

Tucker stared agape at them for a moment and then shook his head and walked to his room. They were getting along? Did his eyes mislead him?

He tried to somehow shake it off, denying what was in his face.

After three hours of working, his CDs were moved, magazines drying on tables.

She squatted down by the top of his CD rack and he did also. With their shoulders brushing, they both pulled it back up an she laughed. He scowled. "What?" She laughed again and looked around his room.

"It was just a hell of a lot easier---and funnier---tearing up this room, then put it back together." He laughed then too an walked to the doorway.

"I'm gonna go get some hot water and sponges." She nodded and he took off.

She smelled the fresh air seeping through the open window and closed her eyes. it smelled like it had just been after a rainstorm with a small trace of brine scent.

Today had been almost illegally insane. Church had asked her to marry him, she had agreed, Caboose had argued with her---Tucker also, she had been forced to _jump_ with Sister, Church had embarrassed her and pushed her to the edge, she had destroyed his room, made up, helped him clean his room and been annoyed by Tucker. Long day indeed.

Her back was killing her for some reason that she wasn't sure of why. So she let out a whimper an arched it. That only made it hurt worse and now her shoulders hurt. Church walked back in just in time to see her doing a shrugging movement. Instead of like a shrug, she whimpered and he sat the bucket of water he had---with sponges floating in it---on the ground and walked up behind her. She winced as he touched her back and massaged it slightly. "You okay?" She nodded and whimpered one last time before he walked back over to the bucket. "You ready to get working?" She nodded again and shrugged the pain off. They bent over at the bucket, grabbed a sponge, squeezed it, walked over to the wall and started scrubbing at the spray paint.

They did that for a for a couple hours silently.

The sun was setting by the time the wall was cleaned of her message and she almost literally passed out.

He laid next to her on his bed and sighed.

His body hurt from working all day. Muscles tight, eyes like led, arms burning.

He rubbed his tender face and she kissed his neck.

"You look tired." He nodded and sighed again.

"That's because I am."

"Why am I not surprised?" He chuckled and kissed her head.

"I'm sorry about being an asshole by the way." She gazed at the ceiling.

"You mean: you're sorry about being sneaky?" He nodded.

"Yes."

"There's truly only one way to ever make me forgive you." He swallowed nervously. This couldn't be good.

He was right too.

He stood the next day in the kitchen at blue base, wearing all pink and an enlarged picture of him getting ready to take her to prom.

If the picture wasn't embarrassing enough, he was wearing pink, pink! Pink for Gods sake! Her and just about everyone else---minus Donut---laughed at his attire.

After the laughing for that was done, Tex unveiled the picture she had had enlarged. Everyone except him laughed their asses off. Church had to admit though, he did look pretty stupid. And his suit wasn't exactly a good choice then. A Cobalt bow wasn't exactly fitting and the pink belt helped him to look stupid, too.

What he noticed them laughing at most, was his facial expression. "Are you retarded?" He heard Grif comment. "Are you part of the unisex community?" He heard Sarge ask, referring to the color choice. Tucker laughed too hard to comment and Caboose was busy talking to himself----creepy.

Anyway, Tex just chuckled a couple times, probably remembering that night, he figured. The night may have been something of disaster, but none of the fairytale movies ever applied to either one of them. He was okay with that. That kind of stuff wasn't on his mind.

Though she seemed a bit distant the whole time and refused to drink any wine when he offered. Her only explanation was that she wasn't in the mood. He offered her some beer and she squinted at him and said "I'm really just not in the mood to drink." When he'd asked why, she got all awkward and said she was going to take a nap.

Why would she take off during a party for his embarrassment? Why would she let herself miss out on that? It wasn't like her to act that way.

That night he found her lying in her bed, staring rubberneck at the ceiling. She was motionless besides her breathing and he blinking every so once in awhile.

He walked in with a cup of wine and swirled it in his cup, before setting it on her vanity. Sitting at her feet, she looked lost as if she was expecting the ceiling to open up into a magical land, but knew it wouldn't. Her eyes were glistening as she looked to him.

What was wrong? He wanted to know, but wasn't sure how to ask. She might not want to talk about it, and he wasn't about to make her. "Church I-" He stopped her by putting his index finger on her lips.

"I don't need an explanation." She pushed his hand away.

"I'm pregnant." He shuddered slightly.

"Your what? Is this a joke?" She shook her head and turned to facing the wall.

Was this really happening? Did he hear this wrong? No, it was what he heard.

Church franticly searched for his next sentence, but nothing came and when he went to speak, all that came out was a snarl.

This wasn't going to be good for multiple reasons. One, all they had was Doc, two because of Caboose, three because of everyone else and four, because he figured neither one of them were ready for this.

Why was he so lost for words? He begged himself to think of something. Anything. At this point, he just wanted to say something to make her feel better. She was certainly feeling like shit about this---not that he blamed her at the least bit or that she should blame herself. No, she shouldn't, it takes two people's errors for this to happen. But he could tell she was letting herself take all the blame. "Tex. This isn't your fault," She didn't move as began speaking.

"I know you're thinking that it takes two people to cause this. You're right, it does. But it takes _one_ person to stop it." He felt something inside him tighten. She was right, it did. Though he wished that thought would have come to his mind a few weeks ago.

"There's no reason to say that now. Its done," He paused, seeing if she would respond, when she didn't, he continued, "The only thing we can do is figure out what to do next."

She nodded softly. "First off, I think we need to call command and see what they tell us to do." She nodded and sat up. Gently, she hugged him.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three. Oh Lonesome Allison

He called command the next day and they gave him no advice. Just told him the usual shit about trying to win and not to die. He had sighed hanging up the comm as Tex watched him from the doorway of the bedroom.

They were stuck with this to handle themselves.

He'd turned to her and without a word, she knew what they had said. She cursed herself for letting this happen. How could she let this happen? And now she wondered what would happen to her or the baby. They had no doctors---and obviously weren't getting any and all they had was Doc, they had nothing they needed for a baby, Caboose would want to freak out and Tucker would freak out. So on.

She felt her head go dizzy.

Too many worries.

She shook her head and he walked over to her. Closing her eyes as he caressed her cheek. His touch was warming and she felt it even after he pulled away. He felt her warmth from the distance and hugged her, pressing her head closer to his chest. She sighed hugging his waist.

For now, they wouldn't tell anyone. Just as a precautionary if anything happened. That's what she said to herself anyway. Apart of her was still hoping if she ignored it, it would disappear. Like magic, her problem would be gone. She cursed herself for referring to her baby as a problem. It was more of an inconvenience. Yeah. That was the right word.

She suddenly felt dizzy again. Only now she felt nauseas also. She pulled away and rubbed together her sweaty palms. "You okay?" She nodded.

"I'm fine. I think its just morning sickness." He nodded and she felt her stomach contract. It was a dry heave. Church backed away and she took off to the bathroom. Church laid on his bed with a sigh.

Why was this happening? Before he could think too hard he heard the soft patter of footsteps. They sounded much too soft for Tex or anyone else at the base.

He sat up just as Wash came in.

Oh great, he thought and rolled his eyes. Wash was in his full body armor, but removed his helmet.

"I heard about Tex." Church suddenly jumped from his position an pushed Wash in then shut the door. tensing up to it, he spoke.

"From who?" Wash ran a hand through his black hair.

"Command. They sent me down to fix things." Church stared at him and squinted.

"Fix?"

"Yes, fix."

"What do you mean _fix_?" Wash sighed and looked around.

The floors were heart pine wood-----as in all the rooms, the walls were light blue and decorated with pictures of Tex and him, his bed was made in blue sheets, a side table by his bed in the corner, his dresser by an open window at the foot of his bed and a desk to the right with papers and pens scattered on it carelessly. His comm headset was set on the desk chair.

Wash pressed his lips together and turned on his heel to Church.

"They're sending Tex home." For a moment, Church imagined they might take him, too. But Wash dashed his hopes by continuing, "You can't come with her, Church. The team needs you here. And airfare is way too much for you to take a seat on short notice.." Wash mumbled the last part a bit.

Church gazed at the floor sadly. Would she be okay? Would he get to see her soon? How much was the airfare? Wash answered most of his questions now. "I'm sure she'll be okay. She's a strong women. You…you can go and visit her in two years." Church suddenly felt frustrated.

"Two years?" Wash nodded.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Is that all you can say? I'm not going to get to see my baby and bride for two years!" Wash blinked once slowly.

"That's all I can say. I can't fix all of this. All I can do is guarantee your bride and baby a way home." Church cinched his teeth together. What now? She had to go…there wasn't any options left.

When Church heard a knock on his door, he opened it and Tex was standing looking at him with her green eyes. "Hello." Tex looked to Wash and faked a smile.

"Hi. Washington?" He nodded.

"Tex.." She turned to Church with a scowl.

"What?" He touched her shoulder and tears filled his eyes.

"Wash has a ride ready to take you and the baby home." She flitted back and forth between them.

"What about you?"

"I can't come, Tex. I can't." She pushed his hand off her shoulder and turbulently stepped back away.

"No, I won't go. Not without you." Church pressed his lips together.

"You have to." He inched toward her an she started crying immediately.

"No, I won't go!" Church grabbed her by her shoulders.

"Do it for the b-" She stopped him.

"No, dammit!!" Wash then walked from Church's room, to the hallway.

"Church. You pack her stuff. I'll keep her here." Church nodded and she hit him on the chest.

"No! Church! Please!" Wash grabbed her arm and Church walked to her room. "Don't make me go!" Wash held tightly onto her arm.

"You need to, Tex. It won't turn out well if you stay here and have the baby." She suddenly recoiled, but he yanked her closer. "I promise you, everything will be okay." She felt her sobs increasing.

"I don't want to go! I can't do this alone."

"Yes, you can." Church came back with her bags and did his best to look normal---as if she was just going on a trip. Wash nodded and the two dragged her outside to the ship-----almost literally. "If I let go, can you say goodbye in a civilized manner?" She nodded sobbingly and he released her arm.

The first thing she did, was hug Church. After a minute hug, they pulled away.

"Tex," he paused and pulled his dog tags off and handed them to her. "Take them. I want you to have them." She felt her sobbing increase again as she looked at them in her hand. "I love you, Allison." he sobbed now too.

"Please don't make me go." He knew she had to. Church then made her look at him by taking her chin in his hand.

"I love you. Don't ever forget that." She kissed him passionately for a minute before Church pulled away.

"I love you too." She spit out in between sobbing breaths as Wash then secured her bags.

"We're ready." Church nodded and then took her hands in his and held them to his heart.

"I love you. Write to me. I'll write to you everyday." She nodded and he got his relenting love onto the ship. She watched until the back closed and yelled to him at the last moment.

"I'll write everyday, too!" The back closed and she sat down and strapped in, sending Wash a glare. He was expecting as much. But he figured things would get better over time.

While the ship flew from view as Church stared. Tucker walked up to him, smiling and hit his shoulder gently. In response, he heard Church crying. "You okay?" Church turned to him on his heel.

"I'm fine. Tex just had to leave." Tucker stared at him.

"Why?" Church pressed his lips together.

"I think we need to talk in the kitchen. I'll make some coffee." Tucker tilted his head.

What could it be? Why would she leave?

He nodded and they set off to the base.

Though Tucker wondered what it could be, he wasn't sure if it mattered now. She was gone. There was nothing more left. Then again, Tucker was curious. He shrugged.

They walked into the base and Caboose spotted Church, ran over and hugged him. "Hey Caboose..." Tucker recoiled when Church hugged Caboose back.

It must be bad. Really bad. Horribly bad. Horrifyingly bad. The three started walking back to the kitchen.

Sarge, Simmons, and Grif were all arguing about milk.

"Why do you always drink out of the carton!?" Simmons demanded. Grif sighed.

"You wouldn't understand it, Simmons." He rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure I wouldn't," he paused and saw the three. Church said nothing, only started getting some coffee. "What's wrong?" Tucker shrugged.

"Tex left. He's going to explain." Church sighed looking to the counter.

He felt robbed------striped of everything. Life had broken him down. It was as if someone or something, just didn't want him to be happy.

He turned to everyone and motioned for them to get comfortable. They did. Tucker sat on one of the remaining chairs, Caboose on the floor cross-legged, Sarge stood leaning on the fridge—now closed, Griff sat across from Tucker and Donut walked in and thought they were having a meeting. So he sat down next to Tucker. Sister did the same thing, only sat on Donut's lap. Obviously not flirting of course.

Church sighed and leaned against the counter.

His view was perfect. Everyone was in view and…staring at him. He got a little stage fright, but shook it off. Quietly, he started from the beginning of what they needed to know. Starting with the night before, leading up to now.

Tex sat, saying nothing through the whole trip.

She felt dead, minus the fact she already was. And her thoughts rushed.

What was going to happen now? How was she going to do this alone? Where would she stay? How would she make any money? Would Church be okay? How could she take care of a baby alone?

Wash interrupted her, "We'll be there in a couple hours. I think I am to inform you of a few things though," She nodded. "We'll be paying for an apartment—by _we _I mean command, they will be paying for a car, food and other essentials, I've agreed to help you with the baby's room if you'd like---if not, okay, and I.. I can't believe I'm saying this. My mom agreed to come and help you with anything else." Tex laugh slightly.

"Okay, mamas boy." He shook his head and scowled.

"Don't. She's a great women." She laughed again.

"How would I know? I bet her number is the only phone number you've gotten that's a women's!" Though he hated it, Wash figured that meant she was recovering from her issues today. So, for the time being, he was okay with it.

He handed her a tissue and she used it to wipe the rest of her tears away.

After that, she looked around.

Just a regular UNSC pelican. Dark, one room, boring. It smelled like rubber too. She hated that smell.

Wash sat up completely strait.

"Oh yes. Here..." He handed her a bag. "If you need to vomit. Please use the bag." She acted like she was about to vomit on him and he flinched. She laughed.

"Dumb ass."

"I really don't see how Church loves you." She laughed again.

"When you put up with it the way he did, you get used to it." He smiled. Probably true. Though he doubted he ever could. She wasn't and never would be, worth it to him. He shrugged and she flashed a smile.

An hour later, they arrived.

The ship landed successfully and the back opened to a busy hanger. Tan everywhere and tall ceilings. People were rushing around constantly, none looking the same.

Tex started at it, almost stunned. Wash grabbed her bags---two duffel and one a suitcase. He stared at her and she shuddered and then freed herself an started walking next to him as they exited. She felt her leg give way since she had been sitting so long, but Wash's quick reflexes allowed him to grabbed her by her arm an catch her, only by dropping her suitcase though. "Thanks." He nodded and she dusted off as he grabbed the suitcase again. Silently, they headed for the exit.

After walking through a twist of hallways, they reached the door and stepped out. it looked like downtown Dallas, but she could smell brine and hear the ocean. Buildings there were windowed almost everywhere, and metal. She felt the wind whisk through her hair and she took a deep breath.

"Okay." Wash opened the trunk and tossed in the bags, shut it an pulled a piece of ripped paper with two numbers. "The first one is my mother. The second one is me." She nodded and placed it in the pocket of her no longer loose blue jeans.

"Are you coming with me?" He shook his head.

"I can't. But if you need anything, feel free to call." She nodded loneliness filling her eyes. "I'm sorry. Do you think you'll be able to get your bags up on your own?" She nodded again with the same expression of loneliness before. "Its four floors up. And you don't exactly look pregnant. So, I doubt unless you meet a gentlemen, anyone will offer to help." She nodded once more and the wind blew through her hair.

"I think I can handle it. I can probably carry up my duffel bags together. I'll have to get my suitcase separate." He nodded.

"Okay. But if you change your mind, my flight doesn't leave for another half hour. I could try and help." She sighed and walked to the driver's door and opened it.

"How will I know how to get there?" He smirked.

"Just get in and strap in. You'll see." He walked inside, leaving her to wonder what he meant. Whatever it was, she had a bad feeling about this. Pressing her lips together she got in.

They car seemed fairly nice inside. Just then, he strolled back out and opened the door. She looked up to Wash and he handed her her purse. She smiled an grabbed it. Without a word, an he went inside again.

She looked around the inside once more, forgetting to shut the door.

Tan leather seats, CD player, seat warmers. All the nice things.

Pleased, she then she went to put in a key to notice there was no steering wheel or ignition. She looked around and the door closed on its own. What was this?

She shuddered and then the windows rolled down in the front and the radio turned on. She hung her head out the window to scream, but the car started moving.

Allison sat back down and strapped in. She looked around and Wash watched and flipped his phone open and dialed her number. She answered it without saying a word. "Your car is automatic. You just program where you need to go by the panel that is on the front. Enjoy." He hung up and she flipped her phone closed and forced it in her back pocket.

When the car got on the open road it sped to sixty miles.

Tex looked around then opened the glove box to see the manual. She swiped it and opened first on the Spanish side.

"345 Manual de Automóvil." She tilted her head before realizing it was Spanish. Then she flipped it over and opened. English. She sighed an started reading.

Nothing needed.

She put it back in the glove compartment and closed it before sighing and leaning back.

After a moment, she looked down on the screen to see her estimated arrival time.

One hour.

This was going to seem like forever.

So, she laid back her seat and stared at the ceiling a moment before closing her eyes.

Church took a sip as he finished his story. Everyone—even Caboose---were listing attentively. He set his cup on the counter and they were still staring at him. "End of story." They all instantly stopped staring and started talking.

Donut broke out in tears and started clapping, as with Sister. Sarge just snarled and left. Grif nodded an took a bite of his doughnut he had. Simmons smiled and stood, then went back to the island to study his atoms or whatever the hell he was doing. Caboose jumped and gave Church a hug, and strangely left.

Now Church looked at Tucker. He was staring gawk at the floor now. He sat next to him, across the table and Tucker grabbed his coffee and stood without looking at Church. "Tucker?" He walked off, head low. Why? Church wasn't sure. Tucker had seemed fine before he'd heard the story. Now he was acting guilty.

He walked after him and caught up, walk along side him. "You okay?" Tucker stopped, and so did Church.

"I'm sorry Church." He tilted his head. Why was he apologizing?

"For what?"

"Being a jackass. I 'm sorry." Church shook his head and couldn't help staring agape. "I know you love Tex. I'm sorry I was such an ass about you two getting married." Church still stared.

"You are?"

"Yeah. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Of course, Tucker." He lightened up now.

"Good. Can I go hit on Sister now?"

"If you want. But if I was you, I wouldn't do it while Grif is in there," he paused, "But that's just me." He hit Church's shoulder.

"Thanks dude. Tex is still a slut though!" He then ran off to the kitchen and Church crossed his arms and tapped his foot.

Tucker, Tucker. How was he going to put up with them for the next two years? He chuckled. The same way he had the last thousand or so years. If you considered what he did _putting up. _

He laughed hearing a loud thud of probably Grif kicking Tucker's ass. Sure, Tucker was a dumb ass, sure everyone hated him. But one thing he knew about him for certain, was that he, somewhere deep down, was a nice guy. But he wondered why the story had made him say the stuff he had. I mean sure, he seemed to have a good side, but why did it show _after _the story?

Church shook his head and went into the kitchen where Grif had Tucker in a headlock.

"Stay away from my Sister!" He tried to slip free, but Grif had too tight of a grip.

"Fine! I Promise!" Grif let go of him and Sarge walked over to Grif.

"Do you realize what just happened dirt bag?" Grif stared at him, confused. "You just did some manual labor!" Griff realized and sighed.

"This can't be good."

"Damn strait! Get to work!" Grif started walking to the living room with Sarge walking like a soldier, waiting until he could run past him in the doorway.

Tucker rubbed the back of his neck well Church turned to Simmons.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking at the microorganisms in-"

"Do you ever do anything _not _boring?"

"NO!" Grif interrupted from the living room.

"I didn't really believe Grif at first. But I do now. You're boring as hell." Simmons snarled and then Church grabbed his coffee and walked to his room.

The first thing he did, was sit at his desk. It was unorganized. So he started straightening things up. Actually. He spun in the chair. The whole room was that way. Even after him and Tex had just cleaned up.

He pressed his lips together then stood and started cleaning his room. He only wished she could have been there to see it.

After two hours, the room was finally clean like it had been four years ago. The floors shinny, bed made, everything dust free, CD rack organized, desk organized, his closet cleaned.

He smiled and then smirked. He was proud of himself, he seldom cleaned. And he wasn't sure what had gotten over him tonight or possessed him to do it. But tonight, he had.

He sighed afterwards and laid on his bed.

When he closed his eyes, all he saw was Allison. Her Red hair, Green eyes, pale skin. It begged that she might send him a photo of her soon. Maybe one when he could tell she was pregnant.

He was thinking too much. His head hurt now.

Sitting up, he saw a picture of her on the wall. She had her hand in front of the camera but he could still see her partly. She was on a boat in a bikini, her hair to her shoulders and curling on the ends, her Green eyes were still noticeable past her hand and scowl. He had caught her by surprise, snapped it barely after she blocked.

He sighed.

There was nothing left to do. Why had Wash wanted him to stay so badly? Just when he was about to think of something else, Wash walked in, actually free from his armor. He was wearing black jeans, and a yellow tee shirt with white shoes. He'd never seen him completely out of his armor and was surprised to see that he was a lot smaller then you would have expected.

"Church," he paused, "I have something to tell you." Church looked at him and nodded. "Congrats General Church, Washington at your command." He saluted Church. His only response was silence. Then Church rose and smiled.

"General Church?"

"Yes, Sir."

"I think I could have some fun with this." Wash smirked.

"Oh. I hope you do sir."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four. Memories And A Letter

In Houston Texas, Tex had just made it up the four flights of stairs to her apartment: sweating, breathing heavy, her heart rate high and she was feeling cramps from going nonstop. Before opening the screen door, she dropped her gray duffel bags and sighed.

She then ran her hands over her pants where they strapped, feeling the cramps. She opened the door and grabbed her bags before coming inside.

It had windows that covered the whole living room wall----facing the road and it lit up the small living room to her left.

She turned.

A half wall broke up the entrance and the living room, Gray patterned wallpaper covered the living room, a teal couch was place against the wall, a matching chair against the wall to the left, two colorful throw pillows in each corner of the couch and a small Black television straight across from the couch. A glass coffee table in between them, a potted plant in a space between the couch and chair, and wood floors. She also smelled lilacs.

Tossed her duffel bags onto the couch she turned around to see her dinning room that led to the kitchen.

The floors were white linoleum, walls same as in the living room, new wooden table and chairs---four chairs, one on the ends and the other two on the side, not pushed against the wall.

She walked into the kitchen.

The cream an black splattered counters, white cabinets, stainless steal appliances, silverware in jars, and a couple lit candles.

She blew them out and smoke slowly rose from the tip. Then she ran her hand over the counter before walking off into the hallway. Three doors. She opened the first one. It was just the bathroom. Almost the same as the kitchen style---floors and walls the same. A porcelain toilet, bathtub/shower, sink and a cabinet/mirror over the sink. A burning candle by the soap dispenser an a towel rack on the opposite wall.

She blew out that candle also.

Those people at command may feel safe with them lit, but she sure as hell didn't. Then she flipped off the light and entered the next room.

It was painted Yellow and was a baby room. A crib, changing table, clothes in the closet---for boy or girl, toys, diapers and just about everything else she would need. She exited quickly and shut the door, leaning on it.

Within an instant of entering, the realization started and she started crying. How could this really be happening?

After a moment she pulled herself together and went into her room. The floors were the same as the living room as were the walls, tan and brown bedding, a queen sized bed, two brown side tables on each side and a lamp on one. A bureau at the foot of the bed and an empty closet..

She pulled her hair back that was in her face and started walking back to the door. Her feet hurt and she was cold now from her sweat that had been frozen by the air conditioner. Her legs felt heavy, her cramps had subsided, but she felt rushed.

Tex rushed out the door and started going down the long stairs case.

After a moment, she was out the door and walking to her car under the sweltering sun.

She was feeling it beat down on her again, like it had before and popped her trunk and grabbed her suitcase. It was ten or more pounds heavier then her duffel bag and when she felt the weight, she cursed for not asking Wash to help. She was now going to have to use all her strength and energy to lug that thing up stairs. Alone. While pregnant.

She started dragging it at first then when she got to the stairs she sighed. This was going to be a long day.

Church in the meantime, walked from the kitchen after telling the team he was now the highest ranked person there. Even above Sarge. Donut hadn't thought much of it, Sister hadn't either, Grif brushed it off as another higher up to deny, Simmons had already started ass kissing him and Tucker had said he'd had a stroke. Caboose had hugged him as usual and Wash had saluted him from the hall.

Church felt suspicious though.

Why would command, out of nowhere, promote him? And after Tex left? It made no sense. It was as though they were trying to give him a reason to stay---an obligation. It wasn't the first time, as everyone knows, that Church felt some other shit was going on behind closed doors. Even worse, Wash was probably in on it. Why? Church wasn't sure. But he wanted to find out.

He jogged to his room and decided to write Tex a letter, explaining his thoughts and see what she responded back with. Maybe she had an opinion about it---she was a freelancer after all.

Church sat at his desk, grabbed a piece of paper from his drawer, pulled out a pen and started writing.

He spent about three hours on it and folded it twice, slipped it carefully into the envelop, closed it and wrote her address and name, then his information.

The next day, he gave it to Sarge since he was heading up to command for a meeting about the developers speech…again. Sarge took the letter up with him and dropped it in the mail. It started what _should _have been a long trip to Texas.

But instead, a mail organizer grabbed the letter and gave it to the Director.

The Alpha? Though he was predicting he would send, letter the Director was surprised that he had sent one already. He felt his heart pound as he opened it. He knew that he shouldn't be doing what he was doing, but he did it anyway.

To My Dearest Allison,

Its only been a few hours since you left. I know it sounds stupid to write already, but I miss you as if we have been apart for ten years.

I also have something to tell you and some theories. I need your opinion on.

First off: command has promoted me to general. I personally think that's weird as hell. For many reasons. One being that they're lying assholes. Two, because it doesn't add up quiet right. I mean, why promote me? And even more: why do it right after they forced you to leave? Its almost as if they are trying to give me a reason to stay here. Like they want us split up for some strange reason. Even worse, I think Wash is in on this. Whatever it may be.

Anyhow, I hope you like your new apartment and that its comfortable. Is it big enough for the baby? Cause if not, I can call up command and chew their asses out until they give you a bigger one.

I bet your happy to be back to earth, huh? The birds, trees, wind, lakes, beaches, crickets, shopping, sunsets, sunrises, culture, social scene, grocery stores...I could go on, but to be honest, I know you don't want to read me ramble on about earth. After all, you are there. You're probably planning on your next move already----I know how organized you are.. I found your agenda today. I must have missed it when packing. I'm sorry. I'll send it next chance I get. I would have sent it with this letter, but Sarge told me it was too heavy.

Do you remember when we were in Blood Gulch and you got shot in the ass? You thought that was me, it wasn't me. It was Tucker. He had convinced me it would be okay if I lent it to him in exchange for the sword. Then, he fired and I switched back 'cause the sword wasn't working. You came up and called me an asshole while knocking me down. I know this really doesn't matter. But for some reason, I've been thinking about it. Not sure why. Though, I doubted I will ever understand any of the things flying through my head. So many of them, just don't make any sense. It's like my thoughts suddenly switch from one thing to the other instantly. Like a flash of lightning during a Texas hurricane.

I hope you can help me, through your words. Your precious words, because I'm lost without you. I'm like a three year old lost in a large carnival crowd in a theme park.

I never realized much of your advice I took or how much I enjoyed just turning to see you complaining. How much I enjoyed your yelling and fighting. I know it sounds dumb, but it's so absolutely true. And I'm not expecting you to say the same thing, but somehow I think your going to write it back. I love you.

Sincerely Yours,

Leonard

The Director stared at the letter with a scowl, remembering Allie. His dear Allie. The memory was from the last time he'd seen her.

_As she boarded a pelican. Her helmet off and her green eyes gazing at him in awe. His Brown ones gazed into hers woefully. _

_She swallowed, knowing what he was going to say. He always knew what to say to change her mind, but she didn't want him to. This was something she had to do. "I have to go, Leonard." He pressed his lips together, wondering how to say goodbye. "I love you." He felt his heart raise into his throat._

"_I love you too, Allison." She felt her throat constrict as the pilot waved her to board._

"_I have to leave now," she paused and he swallowed before she kissed him lightly and boarded. _

_He felt the warmth of her lips linger. "Goodbye..," She trailed off, sitting down and strapping in. The pelican's back closed and the ship left. _

_He just stood alone in the empty hanger, the lights turned off since that had been the last flight of the day. He stood, wondering. _

_Had he have gone with her? Could he have ever? Nonetheless. He knew she was a hero. A protector, if you will. Someone who has agreed to risk their young life for other's. Others she will never know. _

_Leonard envied her. _

_Could he have done something like that? Agreed to that? He looked around the dark hanger and sighed. No, he couldn't have. That's why he was here instead of in there with her. If he had ever have agreed to those, he would have a long time ago. _

_He felt like a coward, but there was nothing more he could do. _

_She was gone._

Forever he would love her, Leonard thought. But never would she return.

He felt tears creeping up.

Even after ten years, the memories had never faded. Maybe, he thought, it was because he had never let go of them, afraid to forget her. Though he knew that was impossible, he made himself cry some nights, wondering what would have happen had he gone with her. Or, what would have happen had he gone instead of her. Or even, if neither of them had.

He immediately turned on his shredder beneath his desk and shredded the letter. He couldn't yet come to the realization of what he was doing----it was too wrong in his mind. Though, he somehow thought about it logically. Would holding the letters be the right choice? Of course, he corrected, he had to.

But he would read every single one before shredding. They were his words. His words to his dead love, he thought. But somehow, he knew they weren't. The Alpha was based off his mind, but they were not the same. Not in anyway. The Alpha had never felt the pain in his chest he had when the sergeant of Allison's unit had come to tell him about her tragic death.

His chest felt heavy like it had when he'd heard ten years ago. She had supposedly been killed while her unit was setting up camp outside city limits in the empty lot that was now the freelancer base. They set up camp and were ambushed by two wraths and ten brutes. She was the last of the squad to go.

The brutes had cut her throat, kicked her onto her back on the ground and sent a terrifying blow to her chest. The sergeant took control and escaped with her, but despite his efforts, she had passed away.

Her death obviously painful. Now, the Director wonders what was going through her head then. Was she thinking of him or of the victories she had celebrated? Or the people she saved? Did she die happy or displeased?

He sighed.

There was no way of ever knowing now, not ever. So he informed the mail carriers if anymore mail arrived for Allison, to send it to him, and tried to forget his sins.

Tex found herself sleeping in. It was nine AM and she was still reluctantly laying in bed with a pillow over her head, denying it was time to wake.

She sat up, her hair tousled, eyes almost closed, scowl and her body aching. She slumped down back into her bed with a snarl and turned over, stuffing her head into her pillow.

She didn't want to face the world or reality today, or tomorrow. If it was her choice, she would just lay in bed and rot. But she knew that she couldn't do that. Her responsibilities didn't allow it.

Had she not been pregnant, Tex would have never let Wash man handle her, but she felt some sort of reason to do everything in her power to insure this baby's safety. So, she arose from her bed gingerly----not allowing her feet to touch the floor while rubbing her face. She stood an felt the cold floor---it was freezing; like walking on ice. She shivered, crossing her arms, then walked slowly to the bathroom and flipped on the light.

The floor in there was even colder and she shivered again. Goose chills rose up her feet to her head as she shivered again.

She bent down to the cabinet on the bottom of the sink, opened it, grabbed a towel from inside, stood, placed the towel on the rack behind her, stood staring at the door. Should she close it? No one was there, but somehow, she felt more comfortable closing it. She did just that and then started striping.

First her pajama pant, shirt over her shoulders, panties then she looked at herself for a moment in the mirror. Many people had told her in her life that she was beautiful, though she doubted their comments. She had never felt that way before. What was so beautiful about her? What set her aside from other women? Was it her figure? Though she doubted that, it still didn't matter. Her figure would be off after having the baby anyway.

She sighed and then started a shower. She turned the knobs---hot and cold---then felt the water.

Too hot. She turned more of the cold on then felt again---too cold now. She snarled turning it off just a bit, but struggling with the knob---it was slippery from the water dripping on it.

After struggling, she turned it on and felt it—perfect. She got in and let the water run over her face with her mouth agape. The water ran over her body smoothly and it ran down from her top lip to her bottom. She exhaled through her mouth then inhaled that way gently.

A minute of just letting the water wake her, she reached from her shampoo and squeezed some from the bottle and lathered it into her hair before rinsing it. Then she used some soap that smelled like lilacs and washed her body---legs, arms, neck, chest, belly, feet and shoulders.

After indulging for a moment, she stepped out of the shower and grabbed the towel, dried her legs an face, walked out to her bedroom an opened her closet----she had packed in everything before heading off to bed. She rummaged for a minute before pulling out a pair of blue faded jeans.

For a moment, she considered the thought that they may not fit her so well, then placed them on the foot of her bed and searched for a shirt. Allison found a teeshirt Church had bought her back for her nineteenth birthday and pulled it out. Black as she liked them.

It looked a bit larger then her others so it would work fine.

She tossed it over with her pants and bent down to some bins in the bottom filled with, socks, bras and panties. She got one of each her and before standing, tossed them to her bed. Then she closed the closet and blinds and she let her towel fall and got dressed. She took a moment to readjust her shirt---pulling it down and shifting. She grabbed her towel and dried her hair a bit before grabbing it an carrying it to the bathroom and tossing it into the pile of clothes. She kicked it into a corner by the toilet and grabbed a brush on the sink to brush her hair. She did while noticing her hair looked almost Maroon under the lighting and since it was wet. Though she felt it didn't matter and after brushing, she set her brush back and grabbed the pile of clothes, walked to the living room, tossed them in a laundry basket and sat down on the couch.

What now? She still had two hour before she met with a gynecologist and she wasn't feeling hungry. Her stomach only felt sick and her body felt tired.

She laid on the couch now, seeing a picture of Church on the coffee table. Her heart rate raced thinking of him intensely.

She turned to the ceiling----she couldn't see that picture. Not right now. She picked it up and almost against free, will hugged it imagining his arms around her. She remembered the feeling of his skin on hers, then his hand grasp hers. She almost cried, but set it facing down on the table and forced herself to sit.

She stood and went to the kitchen and found a piece of paper and a pen. The table was her resting place as she took about an hour writing Church a letter about how she was feeling and how much she missed him. Though she felt it was a bit too sincere, she decided to send it anyway and placed it into an envelop, closed it, and wrote both of their addresses before putting on a stamp.

She looked at the time and decided to head off so she could reach the doctor's early and grab a coffee on the way. So, she set off a moment later with the letter and her purse. She held it on her left arm and started down the stairs. They were long, but when she made it down, she placed her mail into the box and took off to her car.

Church sat at his desk that morning, wondering. Was she okay? Did she miss him? Was she mad about him forcing her to go? He hated thinking that, but he wondered if she did. But then again, she always seemed mad at him. It wasn't like she had been jumping for joy about going to earth though. He had forced her into going in her best interested and their baby's.

Still, he wondered what she'd said about not being able to do it alone----he had over heard her shouting it to Wash as he explained to her that everything would be okay.

Church felt guilt by not telling her it would be two years until he saw her again. He doubted she would care now, but he felt like he should have told her through the letter. Why was he so afraid to tell her? He wondered if it was because he thought in his mind---subconsciously---if he never told her, it would never be true. It—obviously---was true, and believe me, he's not an optimist---he was just in denial. He realized now that he was a pessimist. Not the best trait.

Tex had always yelled about that, but on the other hand, she was more of an optimist. That was why she was able to work with them and not go completely insane with failure. Unlike him, of course. Church figured he'd gone insane years ago and had just gotten used to it. Or maybe not. Its hard to tell yourself you're insane, it just doesn't happen. 'Cause the truth is, when you're insane, you're insane. Which means: you can't tell your insane because it seems normal.

He shrugged and looked at the sunlight cascaded on the floor, seeping through the blinds.

He felt lost and gazed around the room, just hoping she would rush through his closed door and yell about something----anything.

Instead the door opened and Tucker slipped in, closing the door carefully behind him, trying to be sure not to wake Caboose. He looked at Church for a moment in his pajamas. Blue an red cotton pants and a white tee-shirt. He looked so miserable with dark circles rounded his eyes as if he hadn't slept in ten days, body slumped over like he was about to pass out, gaze almost rubberneck.

Tucker questioned for a moment whether he should leave him to himself, but he felt something telling him to leave. So, he turned on his heel and grabbed the knob.

Church looked up to him. Tucker didn't look to him, but knew he was looking.

He waited for him to speak, but he didn't, so he turned around on his heel and looked at Church.

For a moment he wondered if he wanted him to leave, or if he wanted him to stay. But when Church lowered his head, Tucker sat down on his bed, knowing now what he wanted---needed.

They sat silent for a moment before Church spoke barely above a whisper. "I'm afraid, Tucker." He looked at him as Church looked to the ground again. "I don't think you'll understand what it's like to love someone as deeply as I love Tex, but I think you should know that I know I love her and I would never doubt it. I miss her, Tucker. But I doubt that she loves me so unconditionally," he paused, choking for words at the moment. "I'm worried she'll move on by time I come back." Tucker felt some memories rush back he had forgotten years ago. Or was it ignored? He wasn't sure. But he felt himself relating a bit more then he was comfortable with.

"If I know anything, it's that Tex loves you," he paused thinking up where to begin. "I know how you feel." How could Tucker relate? He hadn't even been in a serious relationship before. "I met this girl in Miami shortly after graduating high school. She had long blond hair an blue eyes. She was the most beautiful women I have and will ever see. I wondered if she liked me when I saw her on the beach, but I don't think she even noticed me until that night I asked her what her name was. Rebecka Weller. We exchanged names," Tucker paused and Church thought about his use of the word, _we_. "I swear she was the only women I ever loved. She was perfect, or, at least, that's what I remember," Church wondered why he had never mentioned her before and asked the inevitable.

"What happen to her?"

"What happen?" Church nodded and Tucker's chest seemed to feel heavy now. "She uh...well she.." How was he to say it? Could he even say? He swallowed, there wasn't really much of a choice, he had to. "She...uh…well... she passed away a day before I went home." Were the details needed? Not really, but if Church asked, he really wouldn't have much of a choice but to answer.

"How?" It was the question he was dreading. How could he possibly make it sound good? It was horrible, one of the worst ways to die. He straightened, thinking up how to explain.

"She…got hit by a car. She didn't die right away, though. I sat by her side while the driver called 911. But I knew---maybe more then her---that she wasn't going to make it. But I kept telling her to fight on, that everything would be okay. But I knew none of it was true. And I personally think she did too. The women could practically read my thoughts." He wondered if Tex could do the same with him. If she could though, she never said anything.

"I'm sorry."

"Its not your fault. But every time I talk about the rage and lust for revenge returns. The last day I was in Miami I planned out a plan for revenge. I never executed though. Mostly because Rebbecca wouldn't have wanted me to. And I knew that if I did anything, I'd regret it." Church nodded.

"You did the right thing, Tucker. And I'm still sorry." They said nothing for the only reason of having complete silence.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five. Realizations

What was so fun about tanning? All you do is lay anywhere in the sun and burn to a crisp. Tex wondered why people did it. She had never tanned or sunbathed. Not her thing, she had concluded as she walked to a coffee shop across from her apartment. Old, homey, brick building and always made you feel welcome. And that's why, Tex figured, so many people came there daily. She, even, had made it a daily stop.

She stepped in the open door and got to the end of the line.

It was usual crowding for this time of day kind of crowded, yet it failed to remove the welcoming vibe the place set off.

She looked around to see people sitting at the tables. One man was probably a lawyer, he was alone and had a cappuccino set in front of him as he sat talking on the phone, obviously huffy right now and was wearing a suit.

Tex turned to face a women and a man sitting in a corner. They looked like newly weds with coffee in front of them. The women gazed ogle at the men and he did the same. Tex felt a twinge of jealousy, wishing it was her and Church instead.

She looked to the other half of the room where a family was seated. A four year old, two year old and the parents. The mother was unpacking a meal for her kids while the father tried to keep them in order. Keeping them in order appeared to be impossible and the youngest one started crying and stomping its feet. The father was yelling to his son to calm down, but he was ignored.

The mom looked at her son ad the boy started throwing the mother of all tantrums. He was laying on his stomach and hitting the ground while screaming and crying.

Most people in the room couldn't help but at least peek. And when the mother spotted Tex, she thought it was just a quick peek. But Tex continued to stare at them with dread as they tried to calm their son. She subconsciously touched her belly, then removed it, turning away.

Would that be her someday, only alone? Could it be that she would always be alone with problems like that? Or would Church come? She didn't want to imagine being alone then. It scared her, to be honest. That wasn't a job for one person. No, there was suppose to be another person in that.

The line moved and she was next.

She checked her purses and pulled out three dollars, wondering: why does it cost so much for coffee? Was it that hard to make? All she knew was that you put on a coffee and waited for it to brew. Its not like it was that hard. Unless they did it differently.

She pondered the thought while checking out, getting in her car and driving off toward her doctor's.

After that, she thought about her situation again, despite, her want to ignore it.

Flashes of future things came to her mind. Things that scared her and made her feel two inches tall. Flashes of her daughter or son getting home from school and asking about their dad and what he was like. Of him or her giving her a Christmas wishlist and at the top being a dad.

She felt her heart raise to her throat, she didn't want that. But now, she wondered if it was unrealistic to think anything else.

Church wasn't going to be coming back soon---if ever. She felt her eyes begin to fill with tears. No, he would be coming here---soon. For her and for the baby.

When she arrived at the doctor's, she parked, pulled out her key, got out, locked it, walked inside, signed in and sat down.

The room was filled with women and only a couple of men and it smelled like a doctors office.

She crossed one leg over the other, looking at the staff she hardly knew. They were friendly---this she didn't doubt---they cared about there patients and they were clean. She worried though about the doctor. They'd never met, and yet, she was the women who would be delivering her baby—something Tex was dreading. And she personally wasn't happy about not knowing the doctor.

She started feeling anxious to meet her.

A nurse came out at that moment and Tex stared at her hopefully until she spoke, "Marry Harland." A women rose and walked back with the nurse.

She was growing more anxious by the moment. Making her start up her nervous habits---which included twisting her hair.

She then began twirling a strand and started picking at the seam of her jeans with her other hand. The a nurse came out again a moment later.

"Allison Beth?" She stood up strait and the nurse looked at her, surprised by her eagerness. "Come with me." She led her in through the doors to the back and to a room while speaking. "You're here because you took a home pregnancy test and it was positive?" She nodded.

"Yeah." She led her into a room, walked out and came back and handed a gown to her.

"Just change. The doctor will be right with you." She walked out and shut the door while Tex glared at the gown.

She hated them, always had. Though she wasn't sure why. What was so bad about them? She'd ask herself or, don't be a baby. But no matter how many times she tried, it was always just something she resented. For the first time, she wondered, could it be because she doesn't like changing out of her house? Though she doubted it, it was an easy solution for the moment.

After changing, she folded her clothes and gazed around the room.

It was white in most places except a counter that was a teal, and the metal table and certain machines.

The doctor stepped in wearing the regular fair for a women like her: green scrubs and a white jacket. Tex still wondered why it was scrubs, trying to remember if her other doctor had worn those. But it was useless.

The women had dark, orange, curly hair to her shoulders, green, piercing eyes, a clip board and a stethoscope wrapped around her neck. She walked over to Tex and extended her hand.

"Hello, I'm doctor Morgan Washington." Tex shook her hand.

"I'm sure you know me." The doctor nodded and motioned to the metal table.

Tex laid on it.

"I was looking at some of your records," she paused and Tex glanced at her. "They were pretty good. Nothing bad." Tex sighed. What a relief, she said to herself quietly. "You're a very healthy young women, correct?" Tex nodded.

"I think so. I take vitamins every morning, workout almost everyday, eat fruits and vegetables." Morgan nodded and walked to the bottom of the table. She gently pulled Tex's legs in the stirrups.

The table was terribly cold and uncomfortable.

"You're very healthy. What vitamins do you take?" Tex gawked at her. For the life of her, she couldn't remember.

"Uh…I'm drawing a blank."

"That's okay. It happens all the time. Now just hold as still as possible for a moment. This may hurt a bit." Tex suddenly felt her muscles tighten and a strike of pain shoot through her that passed quickly before her muscles relaxed again. "Everything feels fine. You can let your legs down and we can do a quick ultrasound." Tex let her legs down and shifted.

Morgan moved the machine closer and flipped off the lights. "I'll give you a minute to get dressed." Morgan then strolled out of the room and Tex got dressed and laid back down to wait.

The doctor returned a moment later and squirted some gel on her belly. It was freezing and felt like pouring ice on her----but she stopped herself from gasping. Morgan turned on the machine and started running the tool in her hand over her belly. She felt the pressure and sighed deeply, turning to the machine screen.

She wasn't sure if she saw anything—-counting she wasn't a doctor----but Morgan smiled and pointed to a darker spot on the screen moving a bit in a rhythm. "Right there." Tex swallowed. "Everything looks great. That's the baby's heartbeat," Morgan paused before continuing. "It looks great."

She pulled the device off Tex, wiped away the gel and flipped on the lights. "Are you okay, Allison?" She nodded despite the fact she wasn't. "Okay, just a couple things," Tex looked at her, feeling unhappy with her life. "Check your vitamins to make sure they're okay for pregnant women, say hi to your fiancé and take care." Tex nodded. It was something she was going to try hard at---well, except the whole, _fiancé_ thing. What could she do?

When Sarge arrived back at base two days later, Church was hoping for a response, but he came back empty handed. There wasn't much he could do, so he just hoped that he'd get a response later that week.

Nothing ever came.

He wondered if his fear had been correct that she was pissed. Or even worse, sad. He figured she was both, but not to respond at all? Wasn't that a little too harsh? It wasn't his fault this happened. Or was she scared? He knew she must have been.

He remembered her saying she couldn't do it alone again.

_Alone_.

It burned his ears to hear her say that. He never meant for any of this to happen. All he wanted to do, was hold her and comfort her.

But he quickly remembered Tucker's story. _Rebbecca._ She sounded like such wonderful women. Someone Tucker would never date. Or at least the _Tucker _he knew. He wondered: which Tucker was the real Tucker? The one he knew, or the one Rebbecca knew? It was something Church was lost at. The Tucker _he_ knew would have never let himself fall in love.

Then he got to thinking about exactlywhat Tucker had said: _I swear she was the only women I ever loved. She was perfect. _

_Perfect._

The word seemed so impossible to use. No one was perfect. Though there had been a time when he believed Tex was. But that was before he started finding that no one is. Tucker was probably just getting to know her. He remembered him saying, _I met this girl in Miami shortly after graduating high school. _It cold have easily been just a fling. They usually felt perfect. Church knew. Him an Tex had been something of a fling once.

He thought about their first week together. Everything had seemed almost---seemingly---perfect. She had been in Houston for the summer, he just met her toward the end. The night before she left, he had broken up with her. Not the brightest thing on his part. She hit him and pushed him into the dirt outside her parents' estate. And when he stood up, she pushed him to his car an punched him before forcing him into the car. Then she had screamed that it was over and hat _she _was the one braking it off, not him.

He laughed now at the memory.

But then he thought about Tucker again.

_I swear she was the only women I ever loved. _He realized that Tucker meant she was the only women he loved---even now. That got him thinking about Tex too now. Tucker could never hold her in his arms again, but Church...he was a different story. Tex had not been killed, or, at least to the point of no return. He should just be happy he can write letters to her and hope for a response. If Tucker sent a letter, he wouldn't receive anything in return.

Church now vowed. As he sitting in the kitchen as the sun rose, Caboose sitting across him, Sister getting breakfast, Doc making coffee, Tucker eating pancakes next to him, Wash jogging outside, Sarge and the other reds packing to head back to base and coffee steaming in his hands. He would love her until the end of time itself.

The mail carrier made his rounds, searching through the mail as he was instructed. Picking out Tex's letter to Church and giving it to the Director.

But he never read it.

Right now, he just stared at the envelop. Was this really right? He knew the answer. This was completely wrong. But at the same time, he wondered if letting them stay in contact would end worse. Then they would fall in love more, and that would only make her reality worse when the _news _came.

Thinking that, he opened the letter's back and stopped, looking at it.

Did he have to read every single letter? Not really, but he wanted to. Why? Because it reminded him of Allie. His Allie. And now, he was holding a letter practically from her.

He read the address and name about six times before opening it and unfolding the letter.

Dear Leonard,

Its the morning after I arrived at Houston. I find myself lost without you, though its' hard for me to say that, it isn't hard to write it. And not only am I lost, I am also lonely.

I found myself unable to sleep six or more hours of the night. Just laid awake ,longing for you to lay beside me, like you have laid there your whole life beside me.

Now, I find myself wondering what you are doing and thinking. I know I've never said it in person---and never will---I need you and miss you. Your face, attitude, humor, eyes, pessimism---I must be insane, crazy. Anyway, I hope things are okay with Caboose, Tucker, Doc and everyone else—counting they're insane, too.

I feel like we need to somehow talk about this whole situation.

What are you going to do after the baby arrives? Just stay in Valhalla? I don't see myself taking care of a baby on my own. Nor could I see myself having this baby alone in the hospital. Though I could never see myself doing any of this period. I can't do this on my own. I need you. This isn't just a one person's job----I think that's just common sense. That's why God made it a joint effort in the first place. What I'm trying to ask is, will you please come here? Home? Where you belong? Where WE belong. I need you here. And the baby will too. From the moment its born. So, will you please come home? To me?

I've been thinking about the future since I found out I was pregnant and even more so now that we're apart. I don't want our daughter or son coming home and asking who their dad was. Or asking, why don't I have a dad? I don't want that. I grew up wondering where my parents were and I always promised myself---since I was a teenager---that I would give my children---if I ever had any---a better life then I had.

Something every kid wishes to have: a caring mother and father, a home, dog, yard, Christmases full of family and tradition. But now, I'm doubting I can even give our baby a fraction of what it deserves. I know that I might be asking for too much---like a white picket fence life---but if I can't give our baby that, I want it to at least have a father. I know I can't force you to come home; but I can't go through with my life knowing I never tried. Though I have doubt that I can win---you know what I'm talking about—-I will try. Harder then I ever have for anything else before.

On top of all this, I find it important to inform you that your the only person that I would do any of this with. The only person that I would have a baby with-----I would have never had anyone else's. I would also never marry anyone else. You know that, and I think you're stunned I'm marrying you period. But I am because I love you. I know it's soft, but I can't help it.

Somehow , somewhere, you broke my defenses and changed me for the better. But, Leonard Church, I need you here. Please come home.

Love,

Allison

The Director felt a smudge of guilt while shredded the letter.

The shredder was loud, but he was so lost in thought, he almost didn't hear it.

He knew Allie would never approve of his actions---she was the type to care more about love then him. She would have given him puppy dog eyes to send the letter to where it belong.

But he shook his head, finally pulled away from the shredder and looked at his door. Barely blinking while his mind was in absence.

Even though she was a violent women, he found her often gazing at him ogle and talking about stories of true love. It was something---he believed---she had never told anyone but him. She also read a lot of book and watched a lot of movies. Her favorite books and movie were the ones where true love was enviable and ended tragically.

He remembered watching her when they were in their first apartment two days after moving in while she read _a _book_._ It was her secret obsession. Though he remembered wondering how many people knew. One? Two? More? She had told him he was the only one who knew. So he'd asked her why, she'd said it was because she trusted him.

He remembered the awe he felt hearing she trusted him. It was something of gold from a women like her. But still, he wondered. Was it good or bad? Despite his worries everything disappeared the moment two days later, she had told him she was pregnant. He remember the way his heart began racing an the way she was staring at him----almost gawking, then her slight pouts a week later, when they had found out at the doctors, it was a false positive. Though he wondered why she'd been so excited about it. It's not like they were married or engaged.

He cleared his mind, closing his eyes and then opened them and walked to his door. His name was printed on the door in brace. He ran his hand along the letters closing his eyes for a moment before he opened them and sighed walking back to his desk and sitting down.

Around three AM, Tex laid awake in her bedroom, under the covers with a glare on the ceiling.

Popcorn ceiling, she noted, not actually caring.

Her hands resting on her belly as she sighed.

_Still hung over on the baby?_ a voice in her head spoke and she closed her eyes, noticing it seemed to be Church's voice. It was clear enough to make her able to imagine he was there. _Everything is going to be okay, I promise._ it spoke again and she turned on to her side, only removing one hand. It sounded so much like his words that she wondered if he was somehow talking to her, then realized it was impossible. Why were those words so annoying right now? _Because it's almost three AM, babe. Get some sleep._ the voice said and she knew that was why. And she knew that she _should_ get some sleep. Though lately _should _and _can _were two different things.

She stood an walked to the door.

What was she doing? It was almost an involuntary movement when she opened the door, walked down the hall and into the baby's room.

The yellow walls still looked cheery, even in the shadows of furniture and moonlight. She looked around warily as if a robber had broken in, before strolled in with scrutinizing eyes.

She touched the top of the crib and reached for some baby clothes in the closet. It was a soft shirt, a bit bigger then her hands together and yellow.

Quickly, she wondered why she was in here. It had almost been subconsciously that she'd strolled in here and grabbed the clothing. _Because you need to realize everything will be okay. Think about the positives, you're an optimist, remember? _the voice said and she knew every bit of it was true.

She gawked at the clothing before realizing that all of this was _really _happening. She was really pregnant, really engaged, in love with Church, on earth, scared and alone.

With realization setting in, she quickly returned the clothes to its rightful hanger and walked out of the room.

This was not her night. Now she felt agitated and went to bed feeling formicate. Thinking all night long, she slept barely worth a nickel.

Church had a much better night. Well, at least he considered one. Something of a blessing.

_He was at a beach in Houston laying, in the sand with his eyes closed. He felt something hard and plastic hit his foot with barely any force and opened his eyes, now hearing laughter that sounded like Tex's and some kids' laughing also. He saw he was buried in sand enough to slightly weigh him down, one little girl was by his feet while he saw an older boy----about seven the other about four----was down by the brackish water with a pale. The little girl was loading more sand onto him uncoordinated. Though he wasn't sure what was happening, he then saw Tex's face barely and inch from his with her hair damp and hitting his face. A smile was plastered on her lips and eyes slighted only the way they were when she felt devious. "I think I could stay here all day an watch the kids bury you alive, or semi alive." That was when he realized the kids were theirs. _

_She pecked his lips before running down by their daughter then frolicked like a little girl, stopping down by her. Their son came up carrying a pale of water much too heavy for him and he smiled as Church looked up to him._

"_Are you ready, Daddy!?" he asked in a gleeful tone, a huge smile showing he was missing a couple teeth._

"_I don't know," he said with full skepticism._

"_Too bad!" The boy then poured the bucket of cold water on Church's head. Now he was soaked. _

_Dammit, he thought, then took one look at the boy laughing, smiling widely, tousled and wet Black hair, innocent, gleeful brown eyes and skinny body and felt guilty. Boys will be boys, he thought now and smirked. _

_He stood up with wet sand covering most of his body and started chasing his family around, catching his four year old daughter first and tickling her before setting her on the sand and gaining on his son. Everyone was laughing and screaming, catching the attention of most comers on the beach----tourists or Texans. _

_After doing what he'd done to his daughter, Church raced after Tex as she sped ahead, laughing. He caught her and grabbed around her waist and picking her up off the ground as she laughed. He set her on the ground again and she took off back to their spot on the beach._

When he awoke, he was smiling and felt joy.

Just a for a second---if only a second-----that maybe, just maybe, if he let things proceed, everything would turn out that way. Maybe if he came to earth with her? He had the realization he couldn't leave. Not now, soon maybe. Or later. Either way, he would come for her, no matter if she never responded. He would, that was his promise.

So, he closed his eyes and drifted off again. But he didn't dream now. Why was a wonderful question.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six. Letters Of Lost Faith And Inheritance

Three months had past. Things were nothing more then usual at blue base, Tex however, was putting some things into motion.

Now at twenty three weeks pregnant, she knew that she was having a boy and had some contractors over to discuss her ideas and plans. But she had began to wonder if they were paying attention as they sat at the kitchen table. Their only response for everything was an 'uh-huh' and nod. And to be quite frank, it was driving her mad.

She finally decided it was time to hack into her old,_ threatening_ side to get them to pay attention. So she slammed her fist on the table and stood.

They looked at her now at her full attention. "Okay. I want the walls Cobalt," she paused, showing them a sample she'd retrieved from a hardware store. "The floors are to be this," she slammed a sample of tan carpet on the table, guaranteeing their attention. "All over the house----closets, bedrooms, living room..." They nodded, a bit nervous by her behavior. "Are we clear?" They nodded again, noting she seemed more like a drill sergeant, then a customer. "Good. Not in the bathroom _or _kitchen." They nodded again and she looked back and forth from the two.

From her point of view, they seemed to understand, but as soon as they strolled out the door, she rolled her eyes and leaned against the door murmuring. "Men..."

She looked at the new clock she'd just hung two days ago above her couch. It was one pm and she figured the mail carrier had already been there. He seemed to come early and she wondered if it was because he enjoyed his job. The man was always happy and jolly.

He was older---mid forties---his skin darker from years of days in the sun—on the job, brown hair barely noticeable from under his hat—he considered his good luck charm when avoiding dogs, blue eyes and wrinkles covering his face.

Tex had only run into him a couple of times, but she already knew he loved his job.

She sighed thinking about going down the long, complicated stairs that seemed to be growing more difficult to maneuver everyday. And now she had---for some reason—developed the fear of falling down them and hated even attempting to go down. But what could she do? There was no elevator and she couldn't just become a hermit.

No, that wasn't an option.

She crossed her arms, thinking about it for a moment.

What made them so hard now? They were easy when she'd first arrived----as easy as they could be. Was it because her walk had somehow morphed into a waddle because of her pregnancy? It was the only explanation, she concluded then turned toward the door and then down the hall. She took her time making it down the stairs and then down to her mailbox.

She was pleasantly surprised to see the mail carrier walking over with the mail in hand.

He smiled upon recognizing her. "Hello, Allison." She nodded and smiled as he searched through the pile in his hand. It took him a moment, but he handed her three letters and a magazine.

"Any letters from-" he dashed her hopes of anything from Church with a shake of his head.

"I'm sorry. I didn't see any with I glanced." She felt her heart plummet to the ground, but she tried to hide it. Her eyes told everything.

"Oh…okay. Thanks." He knew that she'd been waiting for her man to write her back and felt horrible he hadn't.

"You're welcome. If I see any letters that say its from him, I'll dash here. Even if its before my shift." She felt honored he would do that.

"Thanks again. Have a good day." He nodded and turned on his heel, walking away. She watched him until he crossed the street, then she looked at her pile of letters.

She had went down those treacherous stairs for this? Bills and a magazine? She sighed and walked back upstairs and into her apartment.

He hadn't wrote her back. Once. How could he have lied about writing? Why? She felt her heart sink, hoping it wasn't somehow her fault. Maybe he wasn't mad, maybe it wasn't his fault. Things could just be busy at the base.

Yeah, it was that, she thought, tossing the letters on the table and walking to bed.

Still, nonetheless, she was disappointed.

And she figured because of her pregnancy, that was why she was about to breakdown.

She did. On the bed, laying staring out the window, tears rushed down her cheeks and her breathing was now in sobs.

What had she done wrong? Why wasn't he responding? Did he hate her or something?

The thought seemed a little unbelievable, but the more she thought about it, it started to make sense. He had forced her to leave without a tear shed, complaint filed, curse thrown. Nor was there any objections on his part. He had left her, that was what she thought now. He just hadn't told her yet, if he ever would.

Her sadness soon turned to anger.

She looked at the diamond engagement ring on her hand, pulled it and off throwing it across the room into the wall by her door. It clunked to the floor.

Without any hesitation, she rose from her bed, grabbed a pen from the kitchen drawer, a piece of paper and envelop from the kitchen also and sat at the table and wrote him a less then heartless goodbye.

Still, with her anger, she cried as she dropped it in the mailbox.

Things in Valhalla were iffy since the beginning of June.

Not exactly the norm for lack of better words.

Everyone was growing increasingly frustrated with Wash's stuck up attitude, Tucker and Sister had been going at it with flirting for at least two months, which caused tension, and Tex's absence to not responding, was flaming up Church and shorting his temper. Caboose had seemed to find a way to annoy Church even more---believe it or not, Doc had been on a high level of trying to change everyone and his team was a wreck. And sooner then later, he decided it would be best just to let them die without his help---hey, they obviously didn't need it.

He was sitting at his desk, gazing longingly at a picture of Tex.

Why wouldn't she write him back? Is she _really _that mad? Then he sighed, leaning back in his chair and ran his hand through his hair. The chair creaked as Tucker walked in holding the delay mail drop. Forcefully, he set a letter on his desk. He looked up to Tucker and then to the letter. Tucker just glared at him silent. He hadn't spoke to Church for over two months. Or, at least not directly.

He took the letter and read the address.

From command.

He motioned Tucker off and he departed with a scoff.

As soon as he heard the door slam shut behind Tucker, he flipped the letter and tore it opened. It seemed to be in perfect condition an he pulled it out an unfolded it.

Dear Church,

From the Director of Project Freelancer.

I know you've been quite busy with your team in Valhalla and I know they can be quite a "_handful" _to say the least. And I completely thank you for taking them as your team and putting up with them for the many years you have.

I know you don't have much experience on a real battlefield, but I have a proposal I doubt you'll turn down.

A new war is on the verge. A war between the separatists. They are constantly trying to control our government and we believe they may have broken their peace treaty. We are in the time antebellum. It is really just a matter of how much they will take---how long they wait.

As I sit in my office writing to you, they are—more the likely---planning an attack---their first strike on us.

The UNSC needs your help. Someone of your expertise to help slaughter these alien scum like they have deserved so many years.

If you agree, you will be paid a hundred thousand dollars a year and if you become a special agent: two hundred thousand. Call this number if you wish to join the action, 678-97676 Plus, the last time the aliens attacked, they destroyed earth----wiped it clean. If you fight, you could be saving earth. And everyone on it. Think of Allison.

From the Current Director of Project Freelancer. Doctor Leonard Church.

Church just stared at the letter.

A lot to take in.

A lot indeed.

He seemed to know about the team somehow, he knew what seemed to be a lot about Tex, a new war, slaughtering aliens and saving earth? Not to mention letter was signed _Doctor Leonard Church. _How could it be?

Sitting on his chair, staring at the letter, everything seemed in slow motion.

The whole thing seemed surreal. He wanted to know why this all seemed to pour on him so quickly----like in a strike of lightning.

Now he was incapable of fathoming it. All his problems were piling up quickly, too quickly. It's like the Tasmanian Devil had came in an wrecked everything just as his life was starting to take shape. Him and Tex were headed to getting married until she found out she was pregnant, then everything just started going against him. The tide had suddenly changed its course in that split second that she had confided. He was happy she'd told him---don't get that wrong---but ever since then, things had...changed. Nothing had ever been the same. And now, all he wanted, was to hold her and tell her everything would be okay. Not go into a war or get involved with the Director. No, that wasn't what he wanted to do.

But with one quick moment., he picked up his comm and dialed the number in the letter.

Somehow, he felt this is what Tex would have wanted.

When the receptionist picked up, he told her about the letter and she dispatched him to the Chairmen, then to the Director. It wasn't easy conversation but everything went well.

After Leonard hung up his call, the mail carrier entered and held up the letter from Tex and set it on his desk before leaving. The Director motioned the guards stationed outside to shut the door and they did. He gently picked up the letter and looked at the returning address.

Still, he felt guilty for taking the action he had. But now, things were set in stone----the plans in action, everyone informed, papers signed. Even if he wanted to---which he couldn't---stop them, he wouldn't be allowed to. Plus, it would cost the board about six million dollars to back out.

Not an option, not anymore. Had he backed out before papers were signed, things would be stoppable.

He just sighed, opening the letter and unfolding. It looked tear stained.

Leonard Church,

You're mad or something, and so am I. I feel resentment to you for leaving me alone at home. I never thought I could hate you this badly, but I do.

I know you're probably agape about this or thinking I'm lying, but I'm not. Maybe I'm just mad, but I'm still disappointed in you. As a father, lover, supporter and everything else your job is. I don't even see how you can sleep at night, knowing that I've been pleading for a response and you never sent one.

I'm having a boy and I promise to never let him become you., never. He will be better then you and me-----everyone we've ever known. And I'll never let you see him. All you can do is watch from the sidelines. If I ever see you again, I promise to beat you to death and then I'll laugh at you well you beg.

I hate you for what you've done to me. Because its obvious you did me and left me. I can never forgive you. Not that you probably care.

Allison.

Leonard sighed folding the letter and shredding it. He had gotten what he'd wanted.

But why did he feel so bad? _Because of how you did it,_ Allison's voice spoke. It was true. _You can fix this. Just call and explain everything._ He paused, looking at his phone. Everything could be fixed with just two phone calls. Just two.

But...he would lose his job. Everything he ever lived for and had left. _Do it, for me, _it spoke again and he hesitated before turning away.

No, he wouldn't. _Please, _the voice pleaded. He felt like banging his head on the table to stop it. But instead, he started to speak aloud. "I can't, Allie, I can't."

"_Yes, you can. I know you can."_

"You don't understand, Allie-"

"_You think too much., just do it."_ He felt his throat constrict, but instead of arguing more, he pulled out a letter she had wrote him before she had been killed.

It had been more then ten years since he'd first red it, but he felt the same as he had then. His hands trembling, heart in his throat, excitement filling his eyes.

Though he still wasn't sure why he always got this way. It was almost as though he was expecting it to be different. New. Like she was still alive, staying hidden in the shadows, but coming out to leave him mystery letters. It wasn't true----of course-----but it helped him sleep.

He unfolded it an read it.

Dear L.L. Church,

Oh dear god! Where to start?

Well…oh boy. This week has been...Crazy.. Yeah, crazy is a good word.

Settling into base with all these strangers has been hard. They seem nice, but they're kind of creepy. One guy doesn't even talk. All the sergeant told me, is that he's more of the "strong silent" type. I personally think he's a fucking insane killer. I have to say that he freaks the hell out of me.

This other guy is always talking about his crazy girlfriend like he thinks I'm gonna sympathize him or something. I'm serious, this guy thinks I'm going to make a move on him or something. I already told him about you, but he didn't seem to care. Actually, it only got worse then. Now, he constantly is asking me if I'm lonely or if our relationship is good. I've told him a thousand times that I love you and that we're doing great and are happy. But this guy won't leave me alone. I wish you'd come down here and give him a face job for me.

Minus that, the base is fine. Though it would be tons better if you were here.

Aside from that, I wanted to tell you that I love you and I'll come home soon, I promise. Good luck with your meeting with the Chairmen Of The Oversights Subcommittee. I've met that guy by the way. He's kind of a jerk and his accent is so phony. I can tell it's not real. Just something he adds to intimidate people.

Anyway, if you act anything like you usually do, I'm sure everything will go fine and Project Freelancer will be under the works in no time.

Sincerely Yours,

Allie.

He felt tears running down his face.

It was the last letter he would ever receive from her and the closest he would ever get again to communicating.

She had told him about her new base. Sounded kind of shitty, in his opinion, but that was his only conclusion.

He sighed, setting it in its drawer and closed. Then he ran his hands across his desk edge. It seemed perfectly unscathed or scratched or even worn. He reached into another drawer and pulled out a picture of Allie.

His sister was next to her, both with smiles. They were outside his parents' estate. His sister's green eyes seemed to glow with her Black hair blowing in the wind as was Allie's hair. Only he focused on Allie. Her Red hair looking vibrant and clashing wonderfully with the flawless grass behind her, eyes almost reflecting the grasses shade and her perfect teeth showing her joy. One of her peaceful moments, he thought. Though he remembered that had been the day before she had told him she was pregnant. His eyes drew in her beauty before he set it in the drawer and closed it.

Two weeks later around two pm, Tex found herself---once again---at her doctor's on the cold metal table, sitting flipping through the pages of a magazine. For some unusual reason—she realized---the nurse hadn't asked her to change into a gown. Though Tex figured it didn't matter, probably nothing, she thought and flipped the page again before closing it and touching her now bulging belly.

Somehow, she felt better from sending that letter to Church. Whether it was because she needed to let that out or because she no longer felt obligated to send letters. Whichever it was, she was happy. But still...she felt wrong about telling him all of that bullshit. None of it was true.

He didn't just do her and leave. No, that wasn't Church. And she sure as hell wouldn't beat him to death. Or laugh at it, ban him from his child's life or anything else she said. The only true thing, was that she was having a boy.

No, rephrase that: _they _were having a boy.

Tex nodded happy with herself as the doctor entered. Her face strait as she flipped off the lights without hesitation. Tex blinked in surprise as the doctor sat in her chair in between the sonogram machine pulling it closer while motioning for Tex to lay down.

What was going on today? Everything seemed out of whack. As if an emergency had instantly erupted only minutes before her arrival.

Though despite her doubt, she laid down and pulled up her shirt. The doctor quickly and unexpectedly squirted some gel on the drum of her belly and she gasped from the cold.

Though Morgan still said nothing as she moved the hand piece over her belly everywhere, pausing at certain spots before moving on, only to come back again.

When Tex noticed her returning to a certain spot more then twice----no, more then three----Tex felt her nervous set in and her palms got sweaty as her heart began to race.

What was wrong?

She drew in a breath to speak and opened her mouth when the doctor spoke first. "Have you ever looked into your family history?" Suddenly, she felt sick from her question. Of course not, he wanted to shout, I'm an orphan. But she answered calmly, trying to steady her tone.

"Not really. Why?" The doctor seemed distracted as she turned to her before finishing up the sonogram and flipping on the lights. As the doctor started to speak Tex felt her stomach do flip flops as she feared the worst.

"I bet you never knew your parents, correct?" She wondered how she had known, before clearing her throat and answered.

"No, why?"

"There is really no easy way to say this...but…your mother died while giving birth to you." Tex suddenly felt adrenaline rush into her veins. What about her father? The doctor spoke before Tex could ask. "Then your father went crazy and was admitted to the psychiatric clinic. When they released him though, they found him dead in your parents' house in Houston. He had shot himself in the head. So, with no one left, you were sent to an orphanage. You supposedly have a guardian that was unresponsive to the calls that were left. She may be still out there, for all I know." Tex wondered why this had much to do with her current situation.

"What does this have anything to do with me?" The doctor sigh, as if the explanation was complicated and fatal. Tex felt her heart skip a beat.

"Your mother had an inherited disease called, _thrombophilia._" She gawked at the doctor and she explained. "The easiest way to explain it, would be to say that it increases your chances of a blood clot forming and cutting off blood circulation to your baby and it would be still born." Tex felt her throat go dry and her body freeze. "Your mother was killed because one of the clots after you were born traveled to her lung." A brief silence followed before she spoke again, seeing Tex's gawk stare with fear fixed in her eyes like a child. "Allison, I'm not saying this will happen to you. I mean, as far as I know, you don't even have any of the symptoms." She stared, waiting for her to continue. "Have you ever had a heart attack? A blood clot?" No, she hadn't. And Tex felt a sigh of relief escape her.

"No."

"Then there is a possibility that everything will be completely normal for you."

"What should I do?"

"Just keep up your habits. They must be good, because you're here now. And just come by every three weeks." Tex nodded and Morgan laughed. "I'm sorry. I've been out of whack today. Me and my nurse had to make a late call last night for a delivery." Suddenly, Tex felt glad it had nothing to do with her.

"Makes sense. Are we done here?" The doctor nodded.

"Yes. Just go schedule a new appointment for three weeks from now." Tex nodded and pulled down her shirt as Morgan left. She looked to her side where an empty chair was. It had been placed for anyone that may come. She felt a ping of jealousy of other women and alone in her silence.

Church should be there. No, _needed_ to be there. To comfort her sadly in his arms, to drive her home with him and whisper encouraging words softly in her ear. But he wasn't.

She stood then, grabbed her purse and slung it over her shoulder, before taking off to the front desk and scheduling an appointment. She got to her car, laying her head back on the seat with her eyes closed.

This wasn't fair. How could she handle all of this alone? It was too much to bear. Now she was going to have to beg Church to come and tell him everything. But what if it didn't work? What if he still didn't come home? Maybe he wouldn't even write back.

She felt tears rush into her eyes while the car began driving her home.

No, he would.

She felt herself wanting to beg. To get down on her knees and beg at his feet to come home. But even then, she doubted he would come home. What had happened? Where had everything gone? They'd once had so much that she had doubted that anything like this would have ever happen. But it had.

She opened her eyes and laid a hand over her belly.

All that could be done now was hope.

She felt the baby kick and she wiped the tears from her face.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven. Busted

Outside in Valhalla, the wind was blowing, crickets clicking, birds singing, water lapping on the beach and leaves rustling. By the "killer lift" a chair was set up and Church was staring out to the opposite side of the canyon with the wind wavering through his hair.

Tucker strolled up behind him with a scowl. Why was he just leaving? It made no sense to Tucker. He was leaving for a war that hasn't even started. And he was taking the Director's advice about the separatists' next move. The guy who had done so much to them already. In hindsight, not the smartest move. But now what could he do? Church had his mind set. But set on what? Finding Tex again? No, it wasn't that. Did he want to become a "_real soldier"? _No. It wasn't that either. He'd known Church long enough to know that wasn't it.

It suddenly clicked in Tucker's head. The Director was precisely _why _he wanted to do this. Whether it was to kill the Director or meet him. That had to be it.

Tucker inched closer, putting his hands in the pockets of his jeans as his hair wavered like Church's. His only response was a scowl spreading over his face as Tucker stopped next to him.

He wasn't in the mood to chit-chat with him o_r _argue.

When Tucker spoke, Church turned away as he gazed at the canyon ahead while turning his head to Church. "I know why you're doing this," he paused and Church wondered how he thought that. "You want to see the Director with your own eyes." It was only partially why. But he wondered if Tucker cared if he was right or not. "I want you to know that I'm okay with it." It somehow calmed Church's emotions.

Tucker supported him? Strangely, it meant a lot to him.

"Thank you." Tucker looked to him, but Church still wasn't looking. "I know its going to be hard for you Tucker. With the team, I mean. I know how hard they are to keep in line." Church sighed. "I think you'll do fine, though. I'm not saying it's gonna be easy----it won't be. But I think you can handle it," he paused and finally looked at Tucker. "I know we've had some problems, Tucker. But I'm going to tell you only once: you're a good soldier." Tucker nodded and saluted Church before looking at him, puzzled.

"Wait. Why are you making it sound like I'm in charge?" Church chuckled.

"Because, you are. General Tucker." It was silent until Tucker spoke again.

"This is _not _going to be fun." Church chuckled again.

"No, it's not."

When the pelican arrived later that afternoon, Church finally told Caboose---who was devastated and said goodbye to the gang, promising to return sometime. Then he boarded and flew to the station where the Director was in his office.

But he didn't go to see him immediately.

The Director had plans of his own and decided to drop by his new bunk alone. Church and him just stared for a moment, saying nothing until the Director broke the silence. "Will you follow me to my office?" Church nodded with a blank stare and they strolled to his office silently.

When they reached his door, the Director pushed the door open and sat at his desk as Church stood, gawking at the name in brace on the door. **Dr. Leonard Church**…

He turned and sat down in a chair positioned in front of his desk. Two guards closed the door as the Director gawked at Church for a moment before speaking, "How are you liking the base?"

"Its okay. If your partial to gray and space." The Director----despite the awkward silence-----chuckled, remembered he'd said that the first time he'd been here.

"You've got that right," he paused, pulling some papers from his top desk drawer and setting them on his desk precisely. "I'm gracious that you accepted my offer for your joining in the soon to come war," he paused again, noticing Church seemed to be staring gawk. "Like I said in my letter, the separatists are planning an attack. I'm sure of this." He waited for a response, but still didn't get one. "I got a transmission from a ship on the outer rim of Venus and they reported the separatists on their ship had attacked them." Growing more frustrated that he still got no response, he almost frowned. "I feel that the humans have to prepare ourselves for another war. For human survival." Now he tightened his hands into fists, unhappy with Church's unconscious listening. If he was listening at all. "I have a list of complaints filed about separatists' attacks on a UNSC transport. About ten were filed last month and twenty already this month. Some of my most well known scientists have looked into the matter and concluded-" The door opened and a guard in mark IV armor spoke:

"The mail carrier is here, Sir. I thought you should know he found another letter from Allison." Church suddenly tightened his hands to fists. "Do you want me to send him in?" The Director spotted Church's hands and his scowl.

"Yes, please. I think I'll need his help." The mail carrier came in and handed the Director the letter from Allison.

"Need anything else?" The Director looked to Church, then to him.

"Uh…yes. Could you..." Church rose from his seat. "Get going." The Director watched the mail carrier leave and shut the door. "This isn't near as bad as you think." Church glowered at him, rubbernecked with his hands in fists, scowl on his face, disgust and anger filling his eyes.

"You're right, it isn't," Church hesitated and the Director wondered if perhaps he wasn't going to be mad. "It's worse. You've been collecting all of our letters, haven't you?" Church's voice rose as he slammed his fist on the desk. The Director stare at his face filled with pure rage. He didn't wait for a response as the Director sunk into his chair. "You hid every single one to split us up!" The Director was about to press a button on the bottom of his desk when Church lifted him from his chair and held his fist ready for a punch.

"That may be true. But I had my reasons." Church felt even more frustrated. How could this have been the problem the whole time? Why hadn't he picked up on it?

"_Reasons!?_ Bullshit!" The Director felt his anger.

"Yes, reasons." Church waited for an explanation as the Director suddenly realized he didn't have any good reasons for this. Nothing to calm Church or anything that Allie would have considered worth what he'd done.

Keep them apart? No, that was wrong. "I-I-I was planning on reprogramming you to do everything I needed to stop the separatists. The war was never a lie, I was going to tell Allison you got killed. So, I took the letters to minimize your communication so that the news would be easier for her to take." Church suddenly felt like fire and cracked his knuckles.

"Reprogram what? I'm a mother fucking ghost! And even if I'm not, you're a mother fucking dead man. Where the hell are her letters?!" The Director motioned to his shredder and Church finally punched him to the ground, unable to stop himself any longer. "Did you read them!?" He nodded, wiping blood from his mouth. "Yep, it's official, I hate this fucking army." The Director gazed up to him as Church grabbed the letter and stuffed it into his pocket before hitting the button on the Director's desk for the guards. "You can't win this way. I'm done, I quit. I want to go home to my pregnant fiancée."

The guards ran in and pulled Church away, leaving the Director to fathom his rolling storm of emotions.

He sat at his desk with Allie's letter in his hand, pressing the sides on the desk. He opened her letter and read it again as he had over a hundred time. Then he looked down to his shredder. Did he really want to? Suddenly he shredded her letter with hesitation.

The last letter he had ever received and ever will receive from her.

But strangely, everything felt different in a good way----like the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders. And he found himself not wanting to look at her picture.

He realized now. She had been holding him back. That he wasn't moving on properly.

The guards tossed Church into a cell.

He felt only angrier, so he punched the wall before sitting on the distressed, metal bed placed inside. He examined his surroundings. Dark cement floors and walls, a bed and a toilet.

Bored and totally pissed, he stood and punched the wall above the bed. It was all he could do to stop from breaking into a senseless rage.

He thought of Tex sitting alone and tightened his hands to fists and punched again then walked to the bars and sneered. The guards made it over with the Director in tow just then. All Church could do was snarl and grab the bars. "Church, I know I was wrong and I know that I can never make this up to you. But I'm going to arrange for your freedom and a ship ride to Allison." Church snarled.

He said that he knows he can never make it up to him, but he was trying, wasn't he?

He tried to calm a bit to generate a response, but he was too enraged. "You'll be released in a couple of hours…when I'm far away." Church sneered at him. "Good luck." He walked away and Church ran the words through his head.

_Good luck? _

_Good luck?_ How could that be his only response? They seemed so heartless and uncaring. As if the Director was unscathed emotionally by any of this and it was conversation over lunch.

Those words made him more angry then the situation itself. He punched the wall again and felt like screaming, but was still incapable of any speaking of any sort.

Suddenly he heard some guards chatting. Nothing interesting to him, but he turned to them and snarled. They gawked at him before walking past the cell.

A couple hours later, a guard released Church.

Still enraged, he still couldn't speak and snarled instead at them as they explained his flight was to leave in three hours. He figured it was enough time to finish his business here and nodded before walking down the halls to his bunk. But he bumped into Agent California, or Cally. She had once been Tex's best friend. Though he was almost completely certain they hadn't talked in years. "Cally?" She smiled.

"Leonard? Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" He was still enraged, but now amazed to have been able to speak. "What are you doing here?"

"Long story. Where're you headed?" He wasn't sure why he'd asked, but he had.

"A meeting with the Director. Something about someone wanting to beat the snot out of him." Church chuckled and she looked at him, puzzled. "What?"

"Nothing. Where at?" She pointed down the hall.

"Down the hall. It's the second door on the left." He started off that way and she looked even more puzzled following him. "You wanted to see him?"

"Yes, up close and personal." When they reached the door, two guards recognized him, but he knocked them out before they had a chance to do anything. Cally gawked as Church opened the door. The Director gawked with fear filling his eyes now, too.

Why hadn't he left this station? "Son of a bitch," he mumbled before being punched out.

The next thing he saw was a brightened light and Allie staring back at him from in front of it. Her smile and everything was so real. As he neared from a blackness he realized this was it. He was gone and this was the afterlife.

When he reached the light, everything went blindingly bright.

For a second, Cally stood in gawk, seeing the Director dead in a hospital bed.

She put her head in her hands an cried for her uncle. It was uncontrollable and all she could hear were some agents interrogating Church. The two seemed frustrated with this whole thing more then they did upset.

He looked back to Cally, then to the agents in clad mark IV armor. "What happen?" Church felt a sigh escape his control.

"I-I have no explanation..." The guards sighed and hung their heads.

"This sucks, Jake! I was so sure that we'd get some information from him about the tragic, yet exciting death of the Director!" Church snapped his view to them.

"Exciting?" The two men nodded.

"Yeah," Jake paused, "A lot of people were wanting him dead. I doubt if you left now, that anyone would care to look into it. And since you have his fingerprints, they're just gonna believe he killed himself. Cally won't be much help since they'll have too much evidence pointing to suicide." Church still felt horrible for what he'd done. Though he wondered whether or not this was good or bad.

Without warning he nodded and walked off toward the hanger. He stopped and turned for Cally. She calmed herself enough to look at him and she stood and cried on his shoulder. Strangely, he thought that she didn't blame him----as if this was inevitable. If this was coming anyway, he'd just saved some people a ton of time. But still, he felt guilty. The Director hadn't killed Tex. He had only kept letters from them.

All of this was unlike him and punishable.

An hour later, he boarded the pelican and read Tex's letter. But before opening it, he thought about what had happen. Strangely, his first thought didn't seem to relate it at all. What came to mind was _Superman, Batman, Green Lantern, and Bruce Banner. _They were all super heroes of his childhood. He thought about what is said about true heroes. Why _Supermen _never killed _Lex Luther. _Because heroes don't kill. If they went to killing, they would be the bad guys from then on. Killing is what they were trying to avoid. So, why start it themselves?

He realized that by killing him, all Church was doing was becoming him-----he was becoming the Director. The man he had always despised----maybe not really always. Everything he had never wanted to be and everything he had vowed to never becoming.

He was Leonard Church.

He swallowed stiffly while sitting between two adults. One was a heavier man and another was a smaller one.

He felt bitter and lost. Why would Tex want to bother with him now? Because of the baby? Shaking his head, he shook the baby from his thoughts. Would Tex hate him? Would she still love him? Would she be mad about this? Happy? Normal? He sighed and started reading her letter.

Dear Leonard,

Church…I'm at a loss for words completely. I know you're probably mad by my last letter. But…I…I was freaking out. This whole pregnancy has been impossibly hard on me and I'm wearing down.

I don't know what else I can do. I see everything falling apart before my eyes. I miss you to the point of almost dying and I have something to tell you. It won't be easy to read at all if you love me in any sort. But I'm laying in a hospital bed as I write this. I guess I have a inherited diseases called, thombophilia. The doctor was almost positive I didn't have it at first, until I felt a pain in my leg and went to the hospital. It was a blood clot, that's what the thing does I guess. My mother died giving birth to me from it. A clot traveled to her lung from 'who knows where' and killed her.

I'm scared and I need you. This is my last plea. Come home to me, and in about three months…your son. I need you and so will he.

I took a stroll the night before the blood clot occurred and saw a boy an father playing frizz bee in the park. I want that to someday be you and our son. I want to sit quietly on a bench and watch you guys. I can't imagine the future without seeing you somewhere in it and I can't imagine a boy without a father. It's something they need and I need you as my husband. To keep the promise you made to me when you'd asked me to marry you. I know you never said anything, but when you asked me, you promised to marry me, stand by my side forever, wakeup next to me forever and to love me until the end of time.

Love,

Allison.

He let tears fall from his eyes, knowing she was alone.

It killed him that he hadn't been there. He hated himself for not being at her side, for not being capable of responding, for not being able to comfort her when she got the grim diagnosis. And for not being able to hold her in his arms and whisper words to comfort her. Help her with the preparations so far. .

Suddenly, Church's mind switched to the subject of Wash.

What did he have to do with this? He obviously had something to do with it…he decided to push aside the thought for the moment. It was something better left for later.

Right now, he wanted to get some sleep to get ready for his an Tex's reunion. So he closed his eyes and drifted asleep. But he didn't dream, a disappointment to him. But he was happy enough to have gotten any rest at all.

When Church awoke around four PM, he heard the pilot announcing they were about to land and he sighed as he felt it slowly descending.

When the pelican's back opened, it was the scene Tex had seen at first, but Church didn't look before walking out the ramp with his luggage---one suitcase. The scene was buzzing with people of all sorts an the sounds were loud enough from ships that you'd have to yell to communicate.

Church ran through a doorway and then down a mess of hallways until he reached the exit and recruitment room. A man was smoking outside that Church saw a glimpse of. But suddenly, he heard someone approach him from behind him and he turned to see Wash with a scowl on his face. "What are you doing here, Church?" he spoke as if he was in a restricted area of area fifty two.

"I came to see Tex."

"Tex? Uh...I thought you were going to see the Director…" Church could feel Wash's frustration.

"He's dead."

"Dead?'

"Yeah," Church paused. "I killed him." Wash was shocked by his lack of seriousness on the matter. He made it seem casual like chat over lunch.

"How?" Church was surprised as Wash began to raise his voice.

"I just killed him. It wasn't that hard." His gawk stare at Church said everything of his surprise. With that, Church walked out. He passed by the smoker outside and Wash followed him as he jogged to the hospital.

"I...I don't…" Wash stumbled and Church was growing more wary of his presence. Before Wash could do anything else though, Church tossed his suitcase on the ground and stopped, causing Wash to do so.

"Yeah, you do. I know about your's and the Directors' plan about splitting me and Tex up. Are you going to leave me alone? Or are you going to keep bothering me?" Silence followed as Wash stared at him in surprise.

"Go ahead and see Tex, I don't care. This is better for me anyway. I'm sorry about what happened." Church scoffed and grabbed his suitcase before taking off down an alley where dirty magazines were scattered everywhere, dumpsters against the side of brick exterior walls and the stars beginning to glisten in the darkening night's sky. The temperature was starting to cool, crickets were chirping louder, only a couple birds audible, the shore nearby lapped over, caressing the shoreline and brine scent filled the air.

Today was a crazy day and all Church wanted to do was lay in bed and sleep…_Forever. _

When he finally reached the hospital, most of the sky was black and starling. He sighed entering and stopped at the desk. The receptionist looked at him. "Can I see an Allison Beth?" The receptionist nodded and started looking on her computer for a moment, then scowled.

"There isn't currently an Allison Beth staying here." He thought about that maybe she had been released.

"Any other Allison?"

"I'm sorry, but I can't tell you that." He thought about what other name she could be under. Nothing came to his mind though, until he remembered they were engaged.

"Allison Church?"

"One. Would you like to go see her?" His heart rate raised and he felt some excitement that she had given them his last name.

"Yes, she's my fiancée." The women smiled.

"Name?"

"Oh, Leonard Church." She typed a bit on the computer then printed him a sticker and he pressed it lightly onto his light blue undershirt.

"She's on the third floor, room six twenty four." He picked up his bags and thought about the room number. This place must be huge.

After catching an elevator, he clicked the third floor and the elevator started up. It was glass and he could see every floor he rolled by. Most of them had dim lights and seemed more of a romantic setting, while others were bright and easily confused with night and day.

When it stopped at the third floor, he slid out nervously and looked around the lobby. White tiled floors, white molded walls, bright lights, three hallways and huge windows.

He noted the smell usual and looked at his sticker.

She was in the maternity ward. After a moment of hesitation, he was heading to her room.

Only now did it hit him what section she was in. What was wrong? Was she okay? Was the baby okay?


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight. Frantic

How could Church describe the next weeks? Everything seemed to move so fast he felt dizzy.

Doctor appointments, sonograms, renovations, shopping, job searching and wedding planning for after the baby was born---which included: venue visits, food tasting, tux shopping, flower shopping, cake shopping and decor shopping. And baby shopping was piling up: shoes, diapers, socks, shirts, pants, bottles, car seats, toys, blanks, hats, clippers, shampoo, towels, bassinet, stroller, two crib sheets, two water proof linens and a diaper bag. His head was spinning as the room was slowly filling and looking more like an actually livable space. But, who knew babies needed so much? He was at a loss. Never, ever had he imagined it being anything like this. Plus, he was the one dragging it up the stairs an then---if it was furniture---moving it until she liked it.

He was also noticing her mood swings. One night, he woke up to her sobbing, and most of the time, none of it made any sense. Like once, he woke up to her jabbing him in the side. When he'd asked her what was wrong, she'd told him that he was being annoying. He had been sleeping! Sleeping! Another night, she was laughing. When he'd asked her what it was, she'd said that she was thinking about something funny that happened in middle school. How she remembered any of it, he'll never know.

The last time, she had been cuddling a bit too close and whimpering and shaking. "What's wrong?" he asked, hanging his arm over her.

"I'm scared." She answered, grabbing hold his arm.

"Of what?" He scanned the room, nothing unusual.

"I'm just scared." Not again, he thought. It hadn't been the first time she'd woke up scared of unknown enemies.

"It's okay, Baby. I'm here." He pulled her as close as he could.

"You promise not to go anywhere?"

"Of course. You're not going to get rid of me that easily." She sighed and he kissed her ear.

"But I'm still scared." Usually, his words did nothing and she would lie awake for hours, scared as if they'd been robbed just the day before. But by the next morning, she would be back to normal. Singing in the shower, eating a good breakfast and asking him to grab the paper from downstairs.

Then there were the cravings. Oh dear god, he thought. She craved stuff that made his stomach gargle from the sound of it, causing him to wonder if it was just her or if other pregnant women had the same cravings. It still remained a mystery. Though he wondered if it would change his mind about what she wanted some days.

One afternoon, she wanted lobster. She'd never even had it before! Then another day, shrimp. And it wasn't all seafood. Sometimes it was chocolate or chicken.

Her swaying made grocery shopping more hassle then it was worth. Constant phone calls were inevitable while there and her mind shifted quickly.

He'd tried to tell her she was running him, but she'd just turned her head and refused to listen. If she responded, she'd say, "I'm the one carrying our son." or "Suck it up you wimp." It was becoming almost inexcusable. One day, he flew off the handle and shouted at her about killing him with her calls and running around. That one got through, but she just ended up crying and he apologized. Nothing changed.

He was just glad that they only had one more month left.

One more month! Just _one_ left.

The word rang through his head as the car drove them to _Babies R Us. _Only one more month and they'd be parents.

Suddenly, it hit him.They were going to be responsible for another human, their son.

He just stared at the dashboard as Tex looked at him. He looked suddenly scared to death----horrified. She wondered why he suddenly looked so scared. He had been fine when they'd left, right? Yes, he had. What was wrong? Was he okay? "Church?" He turned to her.

"What?" he asked.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I just think the reality of this just set in." She grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze.

"I remember feeling that way not too long ago," he stared at her as she paused. "I don't know exactly what to say, I'm still dealing with this myself. It's not like we planned this." They said nothing and she squeezed his hand again. "I love you. And I want you to know that I think you'll make a great father. If you can handle time travel and Caboose, this should be a breeze." He chuckled. Was she right? Maybe. Caboose was a hand full to say the least.

"Maybe you're right…" he trailed off and she squeezed his hand once more.

"I am right. Now, let's just relax for the rest of the ride, okay?" He nodded and she nodded too and looked out the windshield. Anyhow, even with her point, he was still afraid, nervous and agitated.

He never had imagined himself as a father and he---at the current moment---couldn't imagine her as a mother. She was now a retired bounty hunter. Not exactly mother material—he would never tell her that of course. And he was a time traveler. Strange couple, he thought and looked at her.

Still looking out the windshield.

He scanned her up and down. Red hair to her shoulders now, green emerald eyes scanning the road, a loose, white dress and flat white sandals. She looked so different from when he'd first met her. He also noticed it was incredibly noticeable she was pregnant. She also seemed to have a certain glow about her that he'd never seen before. Her skin was perfect enough to be a model's and cheeks pink like she was blushing. And her attitude seemed to have also adjusted. She'd grown more friendly, gentle and sympathetic. They were unlikely traits for her, though he wondered if it was just her body's reaction to being pregnant. All he figured was that she was happy. And that was truly what mattered.

He shuddered when his door opened. They were parked. He sighed and she got out before he did, staring at the concrete was all he could do for a moment before he heard her slam her door shut and then knock on the window.

After a moment, he got out and shut his too as she eyed him from the other side of the car. "Are you okay?" He nodded and they set off inside.

First they stopped at the sheets and picked up some blankets then went to the clothes and seemed to spend hours there. It was just baby clothes! he wanted to shout. What could be so hard about picking baby clothes? Something was, because Tex was taking six hours. No matter how mad he was when he looked at her and she smiled at him, he felt relieved.

She grabbed his hand, knowing he was growing frustrated. "Do you want me to hurry up and finish?" He shook his head, but she knew he did. "I was just going to grab some socks. Then we can head off." He nodded and followed her to the socks aisle, where she quickly grabbed a pack of baby socks and tossed them in the cart.

They set off.

He felt bad about rushing her, but he had been working all day at his new job as an insurance agent and was exhausted. She understood and was trying to layoff him a bit since she knew how hard all this was on him----not technically speaking. A plus though was he had to work so he can help her.

Tex just laid her hand on his on the cart and he flashed her a smile and she flashed him one back.

They checked out and loaded into the car, programmed the car to take them to Church favorite restaurant_. _Church surprised her with a bottle of sparkling strawberry and they toasted and ordered. She had some soap and he had a hamburger. Overall, he ranked it a fun night. They had toasted at the end of their meal to his new job and the starting of their family.

After that they headed home and watched a movie, he wanted to then unpacked everything, so Tex organized it in the baby's room while he took a shower and called the contractors hired to finish the floor in the living room---half of it still wasn't finished. They'd agreed to come and finish things tomorrow, but he doubted the actually would. He helped Tex finish and they got ready for bed relaxing over the covers.

He was reading a magazine while she read her favorite book."Tex?" She looked at him.

"What?" He set the magazine on his lap and her expression grew weary as he grabbed her hand, not releasing his grip on the book.

"Do you need anything?" She smiled.

"No, I'm fine."

"Sure?"

"Yeah." He moved his hand from hers and grabbed his magazine again.

"If you need anything, ask." She nodded with a smile.

An hour later, they went to sleep.

He was dreaming sweetly when he felt a stabbing pain in his back and he swatted away. He abruptly heard Tex. "Church." He moaned. "Church." He still said nothing. "Church!" He sat up straight and she stared at him. "Sleepyhead."

"What? Did you wake me up just to insult my sleeping?" She just stared at him and he could tell it had nothing to do with that. "Are okay?" She grabbed his hand and took a deep breath. "Tex?"

"My water broke." He just stared at her before jumping from bed like he was on fire.

"Do we need to go to the hospital!?" Tex just stared at him for a moment.

"Probably," she paused. "Can you get me the phone?" He nodded and ran into the kitchen and got the phone before coming back and handing it to her.

"What should I do?" Tex laughed slightly, noticing the urgency in his tone.

"Calm down, that's what you should do." Church sent her a look saying, _well no shit. _"Can you remembered the hospital's phone number?" No, he couldn't.

Church cursed under his breath.

"Not really, what makes you think I'd remember?" She sighed.

"I was just asking, it's okay. I was just trying to scare you anyway. It's programmed into my cell." He scowled at her. Why had she done that to him? What made her think that was acceptable?

She turned on her phone and called. While she was on the phone it suddenly hit him: Tex's water had broken. They were going to the hospital at some point or another.

He shuddered and ran to the closet and got dressed in a light blue button up and blue jeans. As he was about to put on some socks, he heard Tex gasp and hang up.

"Are you okay!?" he asked quickly and she took a couple breaths through her mouth.

"Yes, yes, calm down. I was just having a contraction." He slipped on his socks and walked over to her.

"What did they say? Should we leave now?" he spoke so quickly his words seemed to almost slur.

"Yes, we should go now." In an attempt to calm him, she spoke as if it was a two-year-old. He looked around franticly.

"Where did I put that bag?" She just glowered at him. How could he have forgotten? Oh yes, she thought, he's not organized.

She gripped the sheets. "Are you okay?"

"Ow. Yes, just hurry up." He started moving quicker and walked out of the room and came back with the bag.

"Will you be okay if I take the bag down first?" She felt anger building up at his questions.

"Yes, dammit! Just go!" He hurried down the stairs to the car and loaded the bag in before trying to reprogram the car to drive them. Though for some reason it seemed to say it was having an error, so he set it to manual and a steering wheel came from under the dashboard.

Church rushed back up to the apartment and realized he'd forgotten to set up the baby's car seat.

"Are okay in there?!" he yelled from the hallway and peeked at her.

"Hurry up, dammit!" she shouted and he just looked around frenziedly before he took off to the baby's room and grabbed the car seat he'd planned on putting in that afternoon.

"I'll be back up to get you in a moment!" he yelled, causing her frustration to rise.

"Where the hell are you going now?" He stopped at the door.

"I'll tell you later! You'll just get mad at me if I tell you now!" Without thinking, she shouted to him.

"I'm already mad at you, dammit!!" He just headed out and she snarled hearing the door shut. What had gotten into him? Was he completely insane? No, she thought, he was an idiot; a crazy idiot.

She thought about the stairs. Those were _not _going to be fun to go down.

When she heard the door swing open, she was having another contraction and he rushed in. "You ready yet, dumb ass?" The pain kicked in and a small whimper escaped her throat.

"Yes, come on." When he walked over, she hit him in the chest.

"Hold on!" After it passed, she stood up and he held onto her arm to help her out to the living room.

She pointed to the closet. "Grab me some socks and help me put on my shoes." He started to run off, but she yelled after him. "Help me to the couch first, you idiot!" He back tracked to her, complaining quietly and then after she was on the couch, he ran into the bedroom and reemerged with a pair of white socks. Helping her get her socks and shoes on as she was gripping the couch with her eyes closed tightly wasn't an easy task.

"Are you okay?" She felt like kicking him, but instead responded a moment later.

"Stop asking me that, dammit! I swear if you ask me that one more time, I'm gonna rip out your skull!"

"Like Jimmy?" he asked making her even madder.

"Fuck yes!" He shuddered and helped her out the door and then down the stairs. It took about fifteen minutes just for them, or at least that's what it felt like.

They got in the car and she glared at the steering wheel. "Why is the steering wheel out?" He got in and shut the door.

"Because the car said it couldn't figure out where the hospital was or some shit." He started the car and idled before starting to drive at sixty in a fifty zone.

After a minute of silence, he spoke. "You okay?" He only then remembered what she'd said. Was she serious? He didn't really want to find out. He felt his heart rate raise when he heard her snarl.

"I swear I'm going to get you when this is over and I get my energy back." Would she really? He was worried. "Because quite frankly, you're driving me insane. Dealing with you is harder than this whole thing itself!" he heard her voice rise and wondered where the friendly Tex had ventured off to.

"I'm sorry, Sweetheart, I promise not to ask again."

"I'll tell you if anything's wrong," It seemed, like a fair deal. "Hurry up!" He felt a lump rise to his throat.

"Uh...yeah…uh…okay." When they arrived at the hospital, he ran inside and made it perfectly clear that his "_wife" _as he called her, was in labor in the car outside. Then a nurse got him a wheelchair that he loaded Tex into and rushed inside.

The line was about ten people and in Church's opinion, none of them looked sick or anything. He was tapping his foot and looking at a clock on the wall----mostly the second hand.

Tick.

Tex tugged on his shirt and his pulse raised instantly, worried as to what was wrong. When he went to ask, though, all he did was complain. "Dammit this line!" Tex just gazed at him a moment.

"Uh...yeah…the line..." She looked away.

"Are-" She glared at him, anticipating. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just wanted you to calm down." How could he?

Church shook his head in frustration. They said nothing as the line seemed to move like a snail.

After ten minutes in line, it was their turn and the receptionist looked casual and nonchalant. As if nothing was unusual, chewing gum and taking her sweet time.

"Okay, your wife is having a baby?" He nodded. "Okay, here," She handed him a clipboard with three pieces of paper and a pen. "Make out the three page forum, then sign the forth. Just bring it to me when you're done." He sneered. What was with these people? Could they not see his wife was in labor?

"Is this really necessary?" Tex hit his back.

"Yes." Church snarled.

"Shouldn't you get my wife into a room?" The women crossed her arms in desperation and looked at Tex.

"Sweetheart, how far apart are your contractions?"

"Six minutes," Tex answered and the woman looked back up at him.

"Like I said, just fill out those pages." They were all crazy in his mind, but he took off to the chairs and Tex yelled to him.

"Church, wait! Come back for me!" A few complaints from women arose quietly as he walked back over to her and wheeled her over to a chair and he sat down in it. "You okay, Church?" He snarled. "Never mind."

After making out the three pages, he signed the forth and wheeled Tex up with him to the counter and handed it to the women. The receptionist looked at the pages one by one, then looked at him.

"You didn't put an age down for yourself. If you're the father, it's necessary." He stared at her.

"Uh..." Tex just stared at him expectantly. "Give it here." The women handed it to him with the pen and he put his age as twenty six and then handed the pen and board back.

"Okay, just take a seat. We'll get you back with you as soon as we can." He snarled, more waiting.

He wheeled Tex back where he had been and sat down again.

"Dammit, Tex, I'm going to get this people." He noticed she was having a contraction and probably hadn't noticed he'd said anything. He laid his hand on hers, but she quickly grabbed his instead.. "Need anything, Tex?" She took a breath as it ended and nodded.

"Call my doctor, you remember her, right? Her number is in my phone." She handed him her phone and he called. It took about five minutes to coax the doctor to get out of bed and get ready. But he did and hung up the phone. Tex grabbed the phone and he looked at the clock: three AM. They'd been in the waiting room, including in line and the forum, forty five minutes. Ridictulous, he thought.

Tick.

He was staring at the clock again subconsciously.

The only thing that snapped him from his concentration was Tex digging her nails into his hand and whimpering. "Fuck," he complained almost silently and Tex seemed to be in complete concentration with her pain. "It's okay, Baby." Reassuring her did nothing adn she shifted in the wheel chair as if it was covered in thorns. "Just relax." He noticed sweat forming on her forehead.

She was in pain, causing his throat to feel like it was constricting every moment she said nothing.

"I can't relax!" She finally shouted in desperation.

"Sorry, need me to do anything?" The women yelled to him at the desk.

"Get up here, Mr. Church." He stood and Tex reached for him again.

"Tex, hold on, I'll be right back." She didn't seem to hear him and stared at him as if she was a three-year-old getting ready to be wheeled off from their mother. "Sh, I'll be right back." He kissed her head and she moaned as he took off to the desk. "What?" The receptionist handed him two wrist bands.

"One for you and one for your wife; just slip them on." He nodded and looked to Tex.

"When are you guys going to come and take her back?"

"Soon, the doctor only has one more patient." He moved back to Tex and as soon as he sat down, Tex reached for his hand.

"You still mad at me?" Tex shook her head.

"No."

Tick.

Not again, he thought, what's with me tonight?

Tick.

Dammit, he thought again.

A moment later, a voice familiar broke his concentration. "Church!" It couldn't be, could it? No.

He turned in the direction.

It was. No! he wanted to scream.

It was Tucker.

Before he knew it, Tucker was sitting next to him. "I came to keep you two from killing each other, Tex playing nice, Church?" He looked to her and she only glared at him blankly.

"Uh...yeah, she's been fine. It's me that's completely insane." A nurse came in.

"Allison?" Church shot up faster than Tucker could respond and then the three were led into a room. Tex was in the middle of a contraction in the wheelchair, started yelling at Church.

"Fuck you, Leonard Church! You forgot the bag, dammit!" He suddenly felt dumber.

"Sorry! Tucker can you wa-"

"I'll get it, Dude." Then Tucker took off out the door.

As much as he hated Tucker, he was reminded of how helpful he can be. Rarely, but he can be.

After Tex changed into a hospital gown, she was laying in bed restlessly.

"You can get her some ice chips from right down the hall, a towel from the bathroom---" the nurse motioned to the bathroom behind her, "---and if you hit the nurse button, one will get here ASAP..." She looked to Tex. "Your doctor will be here shortly." Tex nodded and the nurse left as Church stood, still taking a mental note of what she'd told him.

A moment later Tex spoke.

"Church?" He suddenly shuddered.

"Yes?" She motioned to a chair next to the bed and he sat down.

"Are you afraid?" Could he lie to her? With her looking into his eyes like she was?

"Of course not, everything is gonna be okay." She looked at him silent and he wondered if she believed him.

"Church...I can tell your lying to me. Please don't lie, you're scared too." He turned away.

How could he tell her that? He couldn't, no, that was just something he couldn't do, no matter what.

The doctor stepped in and Tex turned to her.

"Hello, how is everyone doing today? Hello, Leonard," she motioned to him, but he didn't seem to notice as then she put on a rubber glove.

"I've been better," Tex replied irately.

"I figured, do you want an epidural?" She gazed at her for a moment as if considering her question.

"No." Church felt his eye begin to twitch. Why wouldn't she want one? Great, he thought and Tex looked to him while spreading her legs and lifting her sheets. "What?" He swiftly looked to her.

"What?"

"You said 'Great'." He suddenly realized that had been aloud.

"No." She rolled her eyes and grabbed his hand.

After a series of stuff Church could careless to explain, he remembered about Tucker. "Tex, do you know where Tucker went?"

"He went to get the bag _you _forgot." He ignored her and stood.

"I'll be right back." Tex started having a contraction and looked like she was holding in a scream. "Never mind." He sat down and she grabbed his hand "Ow, wow!" he said in a warbled tone. Ouch, he thought as her nail dug into his hand like a bird's beak in the ground.

"She's about five centimeters," the doctor concluded and covered Tex up.

"What the hell does that mean?" Morgan looked at him surprised.

"When she's ten centimeters, shows on, that's my best explanation for you." Then she threw the glove in a trashcan and left.

"Church! It hurts!" Tex shouted and he noticed she was sweating.

Tucker walked in empty handed, hair tousled, lipstick on his face and clothes wrinkled.

"Where the hell have you been?" Tucker looked at the door and closed it, then turned to Church.

"Huh?"

"Where's the bag?" Tex asked, recovering.

"Bag?"

"Yes, bag, dumb ass," Church interrupted. Silence struck as Tucker stood as if he had no idea what they were asking. "The bag you said you'd get for me! Ring a bell?"

"Oh! Now I remember! Sorry dude, some hot nurse went after me." Church chuckled.

"Went after you? I doubt it, did you rape her?" Tucker stared at him, rubbernecked.

"Hell no!" They just stared for a minute before Tucker set off to the car.

Two hours later, Church was wincing every time he knew Tex was going to have a contraction, bracing himself for her scream. Tucker had already left, saying he had done his duty and the nurses had been debiting outside the door about who was going in for about thirty minutes. "Let's try rock paper scissors," a nurse suggested.

"Sounds-" Then they heard Tex yell inside.

"Fine..." a younger nurse compiled with a sigh and went inside as Tex stopped screaming. "Hello, Allison." She put on a glove and walked over to her and pulled up her sheetss. "How do you feel?"

"I need an epidural! NOW!" The nurse finished a moment later.

"Too late, it's time to get this show on the road." Tex grabbed Church's hand.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Then the nurse left and Tex turned to Church.

"I'm scared."

"It's okay, everything is going to end just fine." A look of fear covered her face. "I love you, Allison."

"I love you too, Leonard." The nurse came back with the doctor and another nurse. Tex recognized the nurse as the one who had been acting so funky the day she'd been chatted up about her past.

"Let's do this." The doctor pulled the sheets away and put on some gloves. "Here's the deal: you push during a contraction and listen to my directions and everything should be fine." Tex nodded and took a deep breath.

A second later, Tex started pushing and Church pushed her slightly forward as she screamed. "Good, good." After she stopped, Morgan noticed Tex's knuckles were white from holding onto Church's hand. "And…again." Tex continued like before, only screamed a bit louder----if that was possible.

"Sh...it's okay," Church said and Tex flipped him off.

"Shut the hell up!" He could have been frustrated, but this wasn't something he wanted to do. No, today was a happy day.

After that, Church seemed to lose focus and only saw bits and pieces like a slide show. First Tex pushing again, her legs being lifted and he looked down to her legs where he saw the baby's head and then its shoulders an last it was over. Church suddenly felt like the room was shrunk seeing his son covered in amniotic fluid and still attached to the umbilical cord. His son at first seemed to gasp for air, but the doctor used a section tube in his mouth and nose and then Noah started crying as a nurse took him. Church finally looked to Tex and saw her eyes suddenly fill with fear, causing his smile to fade.

She seemed to fall back as if she'd been shot in the chest as the steady, long beeping of her heart monitor began to sound like a fire alarm. Morgan turned to Tex and jumped atop her as the remaining nurse opened the door. The remaining nurses stationed outside burst into action instantly. One ran down the hall and the other ran inside as with the one still in. They rushed over to Church and started pushing him out of the room.

"What the hell is going on!?" he shouted as they pushed him out the door and the doctor gave Tex CPR. "Tex! Dammit! Let me go!"Tucker noticed what was going on and helped them hold Church to the wall.

"Dude!" Tucker shouted as the nurses ran inside and then started wheeling the bed out with the doctor on top of Tex, still giving her CPR.

"Dammit, Tucker!" The doors in the hallways swung after they went through as Tucker held Church to the wall with all his force. "Let go of me! Tex!"

After a moment, Tucker released him. "What the hell is going on?!" Tucker just stared at him, dying to not be the one to explain. This was nothing he had wanted to deal with.

"Church, Tex didn't have a pulse." Even though Church knew, he stared agape and lost. She would be okay, right? She had to be, no, she would be.

"Do you need me to do anything?" A nurse approached Church and his stomach began doing flips-flops.

"Come with me." Church and Tucker followed her down the hall through the doors to a waiting room that was unclosed. Chairs lining the walls, two tables that had magazines scattered on them and everything else seemed white. "Wait here, we'll let you know as soon as we know anything." The nurse then left and Tucker grabbed a magazine before sitting down.

"Sit down." Church couldn't even do that, his body felt stiff and his mind felt lost. How could he just sit? Now his stomach felt like a knot. "Come on." Tucker motioned to the seat next to him. Still Church didn't move; he felt like he couldn't.

Tucker finally stood, slapping the magazine into his chair. "Sit down." He hrabbed Church's arm and led him to a seat and made him sit by pushing him. "There." Tucker sat down next to him after picking up his magazine and started flipping through the pages absentmindedly.

Nothing seemed to calm even Tucker's nerves.

He looked at Church, not even wanting to fathom how he was probably feeling, but somehow knowing._ Rebbecca_, Tucker thought.

Church stood and paced a bit within the next four minutes and sat down awhile and thumbed subconsciously through a magazine before throwing it onto a table. As he just stared at the shinny floor, the doctor walked in.

Church looked up to her and noticed the grave expression on her face. Tucker looked to her, also noticing it and swallowed, trying to stay calm if only for Church. "What happen?" She crossed her arms.

"Leonard and...whoever you are. I'm sorry to have to say this," Church stared at her, heartbroken already. Please, he thought, please Tex.

Tucker noticed blood speckled on her jacket and fluid. "Allison had what's called, _an amniotic fluid embolism._" Church suddenly felt dizzy. What was that? Tucker thought, but the doctor continued for them. "It's when amniotic fluid somehow enters one of the vessels in the uterus. It's rare, but somehow it traveled from the vessel to her heart."

"No...No..." Church whispered in disbelief.

"I'm sorry, she didn't make it. There was nothing we could do. This had nothing to do with thombophilia, either. This was something completely separate. Your baby is fine on the bright side." There was no bright side. No, the love of his life was dead. It didn't matter about his baby.

He suddenly felt like passing out and grabbed Tucker's knee to stable himself. Tucker noticed and looked at him. He was suddenly paled and looked like he was either going to pass out or throw up; maybe both.

"Can…can I...see her?" The doctor looked at him gravely.

"Yes, yes you can." Tucker stood with him to make sure he wasn't going to fall. He barely looked stable so he grabbed Tucker's shoulder to stable himself. "Come with me." Church and Tucker followed her down the hallway, Church staggering toward the middle and leaned against the wall. Both of them stopped and looked to him.

"Tucker?" He nodded to him as a motion to continue. "You go firs...I can't go in...not now." Tucker nodded and two doors down, the doctor opened the door and Tucker looked in.

She was laying, her arms straight at her sides, eyes closed, no machines connected and her skin paling almost by the second. He looked away. Could he even do this? Tex was his friend. Could he look at her this way? He swallowed and turned back.

He inched in as the doctor shut the door slightly behind him. The lights were dim and everything felt like ten degrees. His head was spinning and his eyes filled with tears as the room began to practically spin.

He sat down in a chair next to the bed and just stared before crying his heart out. It was something he'd never done before, but he couldn't stop himself.

Outside, Church began to struggle hearing Tucker's sobs, to stay steady on his feet.

How could this have happened? Tex was young, healthy. This couldn't be real, just a dream, it had to be.

About fifteen minutes later, Tucker emerged with red puffy eyes. He just walked by Church and said nothing. He couldn't, it was too hard to spit out anything and if he did, it would be chopped. And all that would do was make things worse than silence.

Church staggered into the doorway and just stared at her.

"No...no..." he whispered quietly. Tex.

He walked over and just stared at her face. The face he'd grown to love over a course of more than a thousand years. He remembered them younger in a flash. When they'd first met, their first kiss and first everything.

His legs went weak and Church had to grab the headboard to stop from falling.

No, this couldn't be real. But staring at her; he knew it was.

Church sat down and put his head in his hands and just cried. Cried harder than he ever has before.


	9. Chapter 9

Chain Letters: Chapter Nine: FranticHow could Church describe the next weeks? Everything seemed to move so fast he felt dizzy. Doctor appointments, sonograms, renovations, shopping, job searching and wedding planning for after the baby was born---which included: venue visits, food tasting, tux shopping, flower shopping, cake shopping and decor shopping. And baby shopping was piling up: shoes, diapers, socks, shirts, pants, bottles, car seats, toys, blanks, hats, clippers, shampoo, towels, bassinet, stroller, two crib sheets, two water proof linens and a diaper bag. His head was spinning as the room was slowly filling and looking more like an actually livable space. But, who knew babies needed so much? He was at a loss. Never, ever had he imagined it being anything like this. Plus, he was the one dragging it up the stairs an then---if it was furniture---moving it until she liked it. He was also noticing her mood swings. One night, he woke up to her sobbing, and most of the time, none of it made any sense. Like once, he woke up to her jabbing him in the side. When he'd asked her what was wrong, she'd told him that he was being annoying. He had been sleeping! Sleeping! Another night, she was laughing. When he'd asked her what it was, she'd said that she was thinking about something funny that happened in middle school. How she remembered any of it, he'll never know. The last time, she had been cuddling a bit too close and whimpering and shaking. "What's wrong?" he asked, hanging his arm over her. "I'm scared." She answered, grabbing hold his arm. "Of what?" He scanned the room, nothing unusual. "I'm just scared." Not again, he thought. It hadn't been the first time she'd woke up scared of unknown enemies. "It's okay, Baby. I'm here." He pulled her as close as he could. "You promise not to go anywhere?" "Of course. You're not going to get rid of me that easily." She sighed and he kissed her ear. "But I'm still scared." Usually, his words did nothing and she would lie awake for hours, scared as if they'd been robbed just the day before. But by the next morning, she would be back to normal. Singing in the shower, eating a good breakfast and asking him to grab the paper from downstairs. Then there were the cravings. Oh dear god, he thought. She craved stuff that made his stomach gargle from the sound of it, causing him to wonder if it was just her or if other pregnant women had the same cravings. It still remained a mystery. Though he wondered if it would change his mind about what she wanted some days. One afternoon, she wanted lobster. She'd never even had it before! Then another day, shrimp. And it wasn't all seafood. Sometimes it was chocolate or chicken. Her swaying made grocery shopping more hassle then it was worth. Constant phone calls were inevitable while there and her mind shifted quickly. He'd tried to tell her she was running him, but she'd just turned her head and refused to listen. If she responded, she'd say, "I'm the one carrying our son." or "Suck it up you wimp." It was becoming almost inexcusable. One day, he flew off the handle and shouted at her about killing him with her calls and running around. That one got through, but she just ended up crying and he apologized. Nothing changed. He was just glad that they only had one more month left. One more month! Just one left. The word rang through his head as the car drove them to Babies R Us. Only one more month and they'd be parents. Suddenly, it hit him. They were going to be responsible for another human, their son. He just stared at the dashboard as Tex looked at him. He looked suddenly scared to death----horrified. She wondered why he suddenly looked so scared. He had been fine when they'd left, right? Yes, he had. What was wrong? Was he okay? "Church?" He turned to her. "What?" he asked. "Are you okay?" "Yeah. I just think the reality of this just set in." She grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. "I remember feeling that way not too long ago," he stared at her as she paused. "I don't know exactly what to say, I'm still dealing with this myself. It's not like we planned this." They said nothing and she squeezed his hand again. "I love you. And I want you to know that I think you'll make a great father. If you can handle time travel and Caboose, this should be a breeze." He chuckled. Was she right? Maybe. Caboose was a hand full to say the least. "Maybe you're right…" he trailed off and she squeezed his hand once more. "I am right. Now, let's just relax for the rest of the ride, okay?" He nodded and she nodded too and looked out the windshield. Anyhow, even with her point, he was still afraid, nervous and agitated. He never had imagined himself as a father and he---at the current moment---couldn't imagine her as a mother. She was now a retired bounty hunter. Not exactly mother material-he would never tell her that of course. And he was a time traveler. Strange couple, he thought and looked at her. Still looking out the windshield. He scanned her up and down. Red hair to her shoulders now, green emerald eyes scanning the road, a loose, white dress and flat white sandals. She looked so different from when he'd first met her. He also noticed it was incredibly noticeable she was pregnant. She also seemed to have a certain glow about her that he'd never seen before. Her skin was perfect enough to be a model's and cheeks pink like she was blushing. And her attitude seemed to have also adjusted. She'd grown more friendly, gentle and sympathetic. They were unlikely traits for her, though he wondered if it was just her body's reaction to being pregnant. All he figured was that she was happy. And that was truly what mattered. He shuddered when his door opened. They were parked. He sighed and she got out before he did, staring at the concrete was all he could do for a moment before he heard her slam her door shut and then knock on the window. After a moment, he got out and shut his too as she eyed him from the other side of the car. "Are you okay?" He nodded and they set off inside. First they stopped at the sheets and picked up some blankets then went to the clothes and seemed to spend hours there. It was just baby clothes! he wanted to shout. What could be so hard about picking baby clothes? Something was, because Tex was taking six hours. No matter how mad he was when he looked at her and she smiled at him, he felt relieved. She grabbed his hand, knowing he was growing frustrated. "Do you want me to hurry up and finish?" He shook his head, but she knew he did. "I was just going to grab some socks. Then we can head off." He nodded and followed her to the socks aisle, where she quickly grabbed a pack of baby socks and tossed them in the cart. They set off. He felt bad about rushing her, but he had been working all day at his new job as an insurance agent and was exhausted. She understood and was trying to layoff him a bit since she knew how hard all this was on him----not technically speaking. A plus though was he had to work so he can help her. Tex just laid her hand on his on the cart and he flashed her a smile and she flashed him one back. They checked out and loaded into the car, programmed the car to take them to Church favorite restaurant. Church surprised her with a bottle of sparkling strawberry and they toasted and ordered. She had some soap and he had a hamburger. Overall, he ranked it a fun night. They had toasted at the end of their meal to his new job and the starting of their family. After that they headed home and watched a movie, he wanted to then unpacked everything, so Tex organized it in the baby's room while he took a shower and called the contractors hired to finish the floor in the living room---half of it still wasn't finished. They'd agreed to come and finish things tomorrow, but he doubted the actually would. He helped Tex finish and they got ready for bed relaxing over the covers. He was reading a magazine while she read her favorite book. "Tex?" She looked at him. "What?" He set the magazine on his lap and her expression grew weary as he grabbed her hand, not releasing his grip on the book. "Do you need anything?" She smiled. "No, I'm fine." "Sure?" "Yeah." He moved his hand from hers and grabbed his magazine again. "If you need anything, ask." She nodded with a smile. An hour later, they went to sleep. He was dreaming sweetly when he felt a stabbing pain in his back and he swatted away. He abruptly heard Tex. "Church." He moaned. "Church." He still said nothing. "Church!" He sat up straight and she stared at him. "Sleepyhead." "What? Did you wake me up just to insult my sleeping?" She just stared at him and he could tell it had nothing to do with that. "Are okay?" She grabbed his hand and took a deep breath. "Tex?" "My water broke." He just stared at her before jumping from bed like he was on fire. "Do we need to go to the hospital!?" Tex just stared at him for a moment. "Probably," she paused. "Can you get me the phone?" He nodded and ran into the kitchen and got the phone before coming back and handing it to her. "What should I do?" Tex laughed slightly, noticing the urgency in his tone. "Calm down, that's what you should do." Church sent her a look saying, well no shit. "Can you remembered the hospital's phone number?" No, he couldn't. Church cursed under his breath. "Not really, what makes you think I'd remember?" She sighed. "I was just asking, it's okay. I was just trying to scare you anyway. It's programmed into my cell." He scowled at her. Why had she done that to him? What made her think that was acceptable? She turned on her phone and called. While she was on the phone it suddenly hit him: Tex's water had broken. They were going to the hospital at some point or another. He shuddered and ran to the closet and got dressed in a light blue button up and blue jeans. As he was about to put on some socks, he heard Tex gasp and hang up. "Are you okay!?" he asked quickly and she took a couple breaths through her mouth. "Yes, yes, calm down. I was just having a contraction." He slipped on his socks and walked over to her. "What did they say? Should we leave now?" he spoke so quickly his words seemed to almost slur. "Yes, we should go now." In an attempt to calm him, she spoke as if it was a two-year-old. He looked around franticly. "Where did I put that bag?" She just glowered at him. How could he have forgotten? Oh yes, she thought, he's not organized. She gripped the sheets. "Are you okay?" "Ow. Yes, just hurry up." He started moving quicker and walked out of the room and came back with the bag. "Will you be okay if I take the bag down first?" She felt anger building up at his questions. "Yes, dammit! Just go!" He hurried down the stairs to the car and loaded the bag in before trying to reprogram the car to drive them. Though for some reason it seemed to say it was having an error, so he set it to manual and a steering wheel came from under the dashboard. Church rushed back up to the apartment and realized he'd forgotten to set up the baby's car seat. "Are okay in there?!" he yelled from the hallway and peeked at her. "Hurry up, dammit!" she shouted and he just looked around frenziedly before he took off to the baby's room and grabbed the car seat he'd planned on putting in that afternoon. "I'll be back up to get you in a moment!" he yelled, causing her frustration to rise. "Where the hell are you going now?" He stopped at the door. "I'll tell you later! You'll just get mad at me if I tell you now!" Without thinking, she shouted to him. "I'm already mad at you, dammit!!" He just headed out and she snarled hearing the door shut. What had gotten into him? Was he completely insane? No, she thought, he was an idiot; a crazy idiot. She thought about the stairs. Those were not going to be fun to go down. When she heard the door swing open, she was having another contraction and he rushed in. "You ready yet, dumb ass?" The pain kicked in and a small whimper escaped her throat. "Yes, come on." When he walked over, she hit him in the chest. "Hold on!" After it passed, she stood up and he held onto her arm to help her out to the living room. She pointed to the closet. "Grab me some socks and help me put on my shoes." He started to run off, but she yelled after him. "Help me to the couch first, you idiot!" He back tracked to her, complaining quietly and then after she was on the couch, he ran into the bedroom and reemerged with a pair of white socks. Helping her get her socks and shoes on as she was gripping the couch with her eyes closed tightly wasn't an easy task. "Are you okay?" She felt like kicking him, but instead responded a moment later. "Stop asking me that, dammit! I swear if you ask me that one more time, I'm gonna rip out your skull!" "Like Jimmy?" he asked making her even madder. "Fuck yes!" He shuddered and helped her out the door and then down the stairs. It took about fifteen minutes just for them, or at least that's what it felt like. They got in the car and she glared at the steering wheel. "Why is the steering wheel out?" He got in and shut the door. "Because the car said it couldn't figure out where the hospital was or some shit." He started the car and idled before starting to drive at sixty in a fifty zone. After a minute of silence, he spoke. "You okay?" He only then remembered what she'd said. Was she serious? He didn't really want to find out. He felt his heart rate raise when he heard her snarl. "I swear I'm going to get you when this is over and I get my energy back." Would she really? He was worried. "Because quite frankly, you're driving me insane. Dealing with you is harder than this whole thing itself!" he heard her voice rise and wondered where the friendly Tex had ventured off to. "I'm sorry, Sweetheart, I promise not to ask again." "I'll tell you if anything's wrong," It seemed, like a fair deal. "Hurry up!" He felt a lump rise to his throat. "Uh...yeah…uh…okay." When they arrived at the hospital, he ran inside and made it perfectly clear that his "wife" as he called her, was in labor in the car outside. Then a nurse got him a wheelchair that he loaded Tex into and rushed inside. The line was about ten people and in Church's opinion, none of them looked sick or anything. He was tapping his foot and looking at a clock on the wall----mostly the second hand. Tick. Tex tugged on his shirt and his pulse raised instantly, worried as to what was wrong. When he went to ask, though, all he did was complain. "Dammit this line!" Tex just gazed at him a moment. "Uh...yeah…the line..." She looked away. "Are-" She glared at him, anticipating. "What's wrong?" "Nothing, I just wanted you to calm down." How could he? Church shook his head in frustration. They said nothing as the line seemed to move like a snail. After ten minutes in line, it was their turn and the receptionist looked casual and nonchalant. As if nothing was unusual, chewing gum and taking her sweet time. "Okay, your wife is having a baby?" He nodded. "Okay, here," She handed him a clipboard with three pieces of paper and a pen. "Make out the three page forum, then sign the forth. Just bring it to me when you're done." He sneered. What was with these people? Could they not see his wife was in labor? "Is this really necessary?" Tex hit his back. "Yes." Church snarled. "Shouldn't you get my wife into a room?" The women crossed her arms in desperation and looked at Tex. "Sweetheart, how far apart are your contractions?" "Six minutes," Tex answered and the woman looked back up at him. "Like I said, just fill out those pages." They were all crazy in his mind, but he took off to the chairs and Tex yelled to him. "Church, wait! Come back for me!" A few complaints from women arose quietly as he walked back over to her and wheeled her over to a chair and he sat down in it. "You okay, Church?" He snarled. "Never mind." After making out the three pages, he signed the forth and wheeled Tex up with him to the counter and handed it to the women. The receptionist looked at the pages one by one, then looked at him. "You didn't put an age down for yourself. If you're the father, it's necessary." He stared at her. "Uh..." Tex just stared at him expectantly. "Give it here." The women handed it to him with the pen and he put his age as twenty six and then handed the pen and board back. "Okay, just take a seat. We'll get you back with you as soon as we can." He snarled, more waiting. He wheeled Tex back where he had been and sat down again. "Dammit, Tex, I'm going to get this people." He noticed she was having a contraction and probably hadn't noticed he'd said anything. He laid his hand on hers, but she quickly grabbed his instead.. "Need anything, Tex?" She took a breath as it ended and nodded. "Call my doctor, you remember her, right? Her number is in my phone." She handed him her phone and he called. It took about five minutes to coax the doctor to get out of bed and get ready. But he did and hung up the phone. Tex grabbed the phone and he looked at the clock: three AM. They'd been in the waiting room, including in line and the forum, forty five minutes. Ridictulous, he thought. Tick. He was staring at the clock again subconsciously. The only thing that snapped him from his concentration was Tex digging her nails into his hand and whimpering. "Fuck," he complained almost silently and Tex seemed to be in complete concentration with her pain. "It's okay, Baby." Reassuring her did nothing adn she shifted in the wheel chair as if it was covered in thorns. "Just relax." He noticed sweat forming on her forehead. She was in pain, causing his throat to feel like it was constricting every moment she said nothing. "I can't relax!" She finally shouted in desperation. "Sorry, need me to do anything?" The women yelled to him at the desk. "Get up here, Mr. Church." He stood and Tex reached for him again. "Tex, hold on, I'll be right back." She didn't seem to hear him and stared at him as if she was a three-year-old getting ready to be wheeled off from their mother. "Sh, I'll be right back." He kissed her head and she moaned as he took off to the desk. "What?" The receptionist handed him two wrist bands. "One for you and one for your wife; just slip them on." He nodded and looked to Tex. "When are you guys going to come and take her back?" "Soon, the doctor only has one more patient." He moved back to Tex and as soon as he sat down, Tex reached for his hand. "You still mad at me?" Tex shook her head. "No." Tick. Not again, he thought, what's with me tonight? Tick. Dammit, he thought again. A moment later, a voice familiar broke his concentration. "Church!" It couldn't be, could it? No. He turned in the direction. It was. No! he wanted to scream. It was Tucker. Before he knew it, Tucker was sitting next to him. "I came to keep you two from killing each other, Tex playing nice, Church?" He looked to her and she only glared at him blankly. "Uh...yeah, she's been fine. It's me that's completely insane." A nurse came in. "Allison?" Church shot up faster than Tucker could respond and then the three were led into a room. Tex was in the middle of a contraction in the wheelchair, started yelling at Church. "Fuck you, Leonard Church! You forgot the bag, dammit!" He suddenly felt dumber. "Sorry! Tucker can you wa-" "I'll get it, Dude." Then Tucker took off out the door. As much as he hated Tucker, he was reminded of how helpful he can be. Rarely, but he can be. After Tex changed into a hospital gown, she was laying in bed restlessly. "You can get her some ice chips from right down the hall, a towel from the bathroom---" the nurse motioned to the bathroom behind her, "---and if you hit the nurse button, one will get here ASAP..." She looked to Tex. "Your doctor will be here shortly." Tex nodded and the nurse left as Church stood, still taking a mental note of what she'd told him. A moment later Tex spoke. "Church?" He suddenly shuddered. "Yes?" She motioned to a chair next to the bed and he sat down. "Are you afraid?" Could he lie to her? With her looking into his eyes like she was? "Of course not, everything is gonna be okay." She looked at him silent and he wondered if she believed him. "Church...I can tell your lying to me. Please don't lie, you're scared too." He turned away. How could he tell her that? He couldn't, no, that was just something he couldn't do, no matter what. The doctor stepped in and Tex turned to her. "Hello, how is everyone doing today? Hello, Leonard," she motioned to him, but he didn't seem to notice as then she put on a rubber glove. "I've been better," Tex replied irately. "I figured, do you want an epidural?" She gazed at her for a moment as if considering her question. "No." Church felt his eye begin to twitch. Why wouldn't she want one? Great, he thought and Tex looked to him while spreading her legs and lifting her sheets. "What?" He swiftly looked to her. "What?" "You said 'Great'." He suddenly realized that had been aloud. "No." She rolled her eyes and grabbed his hand. After a series of stuff Church could careless to explain, he remembered about Tucker. "Tex, do you know where Tucker went?" "He went to get the bag you forgot." He ignored her and stood. "I'll be right back." Tex started having a contraction and looked like she was holding in a scream. "Never mind." He sat down and she grabbed his hand "Ow, wow!" he said in a warbled tone. Ouch, he thought as her nail dug into his hand like a bird's beak in the ground. "She's about five centimeters," the doctor concluded and covered Tex up. "What the hell does that mean?" Morgan looked at him surprised. "When she's ten centimeters, shows on, that's my best explanation for you." Then she threw the glove in a trashcan and left. "Church! It hurts!" Tex shouted and he noticed she was sweating. Tucker walked in empty handed, hair tousled, lipstick on his face and clothes wrinkled. "Where the hell have you been?" Tucker looked at the door and closed it, then turned to Church. "Huh?" "Where's the bag?" Tex asked, recovering. "Bag?" "Yes, bag, dumb ass," Church interrupted. Silence struck as Tucker stood as if he had no idea what they were asking. "The bag you said you'd get for me! Ring a bell?" "Oh! Now I remember! Sorry dude, some hot nurse went after me." Church chuckled. "Went after you? I doubt it, did you rape her?" Tucker stared at him, rubbernecked. "Hell no!" They just stared for a minute before Tucker set off to the car. Two hours later, Church was wincing every time he knew Tex was going to have a contraction, bracing himself for her scream. Tucker had already left, saying he had done his duty and the nurses had been debiting outside the door about who was going in for about thirty minutes. "Let's try rock paper scissors," a nurse suggested. "Sounds-" Then they heard Tex yell inside. "Fine..." a younger nurse compiled with a sigh and went inside as Tex stopped screaming. "Hello, Allison." She put on a glove and walked over to her and pulled up her sheetss. "How do you feel?" "I need an epidural! NOW!" The nurse finished a moment later. "Too late, it's time to get this show on the road." Tex grabbed Church's hand. "Are you sure?" "Yes." Then the nurse left and Tex turned to Church. "I'm scared." "It's okay, everything is going to end just fine." A look of fear covered her face. "I love you, Allison." "I love you too, Leonard." The nurse came back with the doctor and another nurse. Tex recognized the nurse as the one who had been acting so funky the day she'd been chatted up about her past. "Let's do this." The doctor pulled the sheets away and put on some gloves. "Here's the deal: you push during a contraction and listen to my directions and everything should be fine." Tex nodded and took a deep breath. A second later, Tex started pushing and Church pushed her slightly forward as she screamed. "Good, good." After she stopped, Morgan noticed Tex's knuckles were white from holding onto Church's hand. "And…again." Tex continued like before, only screamed a bit louder----if that was possible. "Sh...it's okay," Church said and Tex flipped him off. "Shut the hell up!" He could have been frustrated, but this wasn't something he wanted to do. No, today was a happy day. After that, Church seemed to lose focus and only saw bits and pieces like a slide show. First Tex pushing again, her legs being lifted and he looked down to her legs where he saw the baby's head and then its shoulders an last it was over. Church suddenly felt like the room was shrunk seeing his son covered in amniotic fluid and still attached to the umbilical cord. His son at first seemed to gasp for air, but the doctor used a section tube in his mouth and nose and then Noah started crying as a nurse took him. Church finally looked to Tex and saw her eyes suddenly fill with fear, causing his smile to fade. She seemed to fall back as if she'd been shot in the chest as the steady, long beeping of her heart monitor began to sound like a fire alarm. Morgan turned to Tex and jumped atop her as the remaining nurse opened the door. The remaining nurses stationed outside burst into action instantly. One ran down the hall and the other ran inside as with the one still in. They rushed over to Church and started pushing him out of the room. "What the hell is going on!?" he shouted as they pushed him out the door and the doctor gave Tex CPR. "Tex! Dammit! Let me go!"Tucker noticed what was going on and helped them hold Church to the wall. "Dude!" Tucker shouted as the nurses ran inside and then started wheeling the bed out with the doctor on top of Tex, still giving her CPR. "Dammit, Tucker!" The doors in the hallways swung after they went through as Tucker held Church to the wall with all his force. "Let go of me! Tex!" After a moment, Tucker released him. "What the hell is going on?!" Tucker just stared at him, dying to not be the one to explain. This was nothing he had wanted to deal with. "Church, Tex didn't have a pulse." Even though Church knew, he stared agape and lost. She would be okay, right? She had to be, no, she would be. "Do you need me to do anything?" A nurse approached Church and his stomach began doing flips-flops. "Come with me." Church and Tucker followed her down the hall through the doors to a waiting room that was unclosed. Chairs lining the walls, two tables that had magazines scattered on them and everything else seemed white. "Wait here, we'll let you know as soon as we know anything." The nurse then left and Tucker grabbed a magazine before sitting down. "Sit down." Church couldn't even do that, his body felt stiff and his mind felt lost. How could he just sit? Now his stomach felt like a knot. "Come on." Tucker motioned to the seat next to him. Still Church didn't move; he felt like he couldn't. Tucker finally stood, slapping the magazine into his chair. "Sit down." He hrabbed Church's arm and led him to a seat and made him sit by pushing him. "There." Tucker sat down next to him after picking up his magazine and started flipping through the pages absentmindedly. Nothing seemed to calm even Tucker's nerves. He looked at Church, not even wanting to fathom how he was probably feeling, but somehow knowing. Rebbecca, Tucker thought. Church stood and paced a bit within the next four minutes and sat down awhile and thumbed subconsciously through a magazine before throwing it onto a table. As he just stared at the shinny floor, the doctor walked in. Church looked up to her and noticed the grave expression on her face. Tucker looked to her, also noticing it and swallowed, trying to stay calm if only for Church. "What happen?" She crossed her arms. "Leonard and...whoever you are. I'm sorry to have to say this," Church stared at her, heartbroken already. Please, he thought, please Tex. Tucker noticed blood speckled on her jacket and fluid. "Allison had what's called, an amniotic fluid embolism." Church suddenly felt dizzy. What was that? Tucker thought, but the doctor continued for them. "It's when amniotic fluid somehow enters one of the vessels in the uterus. It's rare, but somehow it traveled from the vessel to her heart." "No...No..." Church whispered in disbelief. "I'm sorry, she didn't make it. There was nothing we could do. This had nothing to do with thombophilia, either. This was something completely separate. Your baby is fine on the bright side." There was no bright side. No, the love of his life was dead. It didn't matter about his baby. He suddenly felt like passing out and grabbed Tucker's knee to stable himself. Tucker noticed and looked at him. He was suddenly paled and looked like he was either going to pass out or throw up; maybe both. "Can…can I...see her?" The doctor looked at him gravely. "Yes, yes you can." Tucker stood with him to make sure he wasn't going to fall. He barely looked stable so he grabbed Tucker's shoulder to stable himself. "Come with me." Church and Tucker followed her down the hallway, Church staggering toward the middle and leaned against the wall. Both of them stopped and looked to him. "Tucker?" He nodded to him as a motion to continue. "You go firs...I can't go in...not now." Tucker nodded and two doors down, the doctor opened the door and Tucker looked in. She was laying, her arms straight at her sides, eyes closed, no machines connected and her skin paling almost by the second. He looked away. Could he even do this? Tex was his friend. Could he look at her this way? He swallowed and turned back. He inched in as the doctor shut the door slightly behind him. The lights were dim and everything felt like ten degrees. His head was spinning and his eyes filled with tears as the room began to practically spin. He sat down in a chair next to the bed and just stared before crying his heart out. It was something he'd never done before, but he couldn't stop himself. Outside, Church began to struggle hearing Tucker's sobs, to stay steady on his feet. How could this have happened? Tex was young, healthy. This couldn't be real, just a dream, it had to be. About fifteen minutes later, Tucker emerged with red puffy eyes. He just walked by Church and said nothing. He couldn't, it was too hard to spit out anything and if he did, it would be chopped. And all that would do was make things worse than silence. Church staggered into the doorway and just stared at her. "No...no..." he whispered quietly. Tex. He walked over and just stared at her face. The face he'd grown to love over a course of more than a thousand years. He remembered them younger in a flash. When they'd first met, their first kiss and first everything. His legs went weak and Church had to grab the headboard to stop from falling. No, this couldn't be real. But staring at her; he knew it was. Church sat down and put his head in his hands and just cried. Cried harder than he ever has before.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten. N.

About an hour later, Church sat down next to Tucker in the cafeteria, his eyes red and puffy and his stomaching churning. Tear production had seized and his body felt weak like an infant's. Tucker looked similarly bad, only he wasn't pale like Church.

They could hear people chatting, trays moving and shoes scoffing every so often. Every once in awhile fancy shoes on the tile that was probably a woman's high heels.

Sitting was about the only thing Church could do to stop himself from curling into a ball and wasting himself. Tucker found some way to speak though, "You should go see Noah." Tucker's force to speak surprised himself almost as much as Church.

Noah, Noah,_ Noah. _Church could barely comprehend the name. That baby had killed his love. He couldn't bear to think of seeing him. No, he couldn't see him. "He's beautiful Church."

They both said nothing as Tucker stared at him, knowing how he was feeling by the angered expression. "You have to see him, Church, he's your son and this isn't his fault." Church just glared at Tucker as if he was suggesting he go rob someone. "Go, please?" Why was he begging? This was none of his business.

Church wanted to smack him across the face, but he couldn't even if he had tried. He didn't have the strength. "Please?" Tucker begged again and Church could tell he was desperate this time.

"I don't know if I can…" Tucker stood.

"Let's go." Without a second to respond, Tucker was already leading him to the nursery.

When they got to the entrance, Church saw a son and daughter looking through the window and pointing happily, both of them grinning. He hated them now, today was suppose to be the happiest day of his life, but instead it was the worst. And just the fact that those people were happy stun him deep enough for him to recoil. "No, we're almost there." Tucker grabbing him by his wrist and pulling him forward. "C'mon Church."

When they reached the doors, Tucker opened it for him. "Go on."

"Tucker..." he stopped him from protesting.

"Go."

"You're not coming with me?" Tucker shook his head.

"No, you have to do this alone." Church felt like dying. The least Tucker could do was come along.

"Please come with me."

"No, you have to go alone."

"Please," Church whispered, but Tucker pushed him through the doors and shut them. A nurse walked over to Church immediately.

"Come with me, Leonard." She led him passed babies in their pink or blue blanks and hats and then to one with the name, _Noah Church_, on the back. Church looked in.

The baby----his baby-----looked beautiful. He noticed he seemed to resemble him just as much as he did Tex. How could this have happened? Tex should be there with him, but she couldn't. Church spoke before thinking:

"Can I hold him?" The nurse nodded and picked up Noah who was wrapped in a blue blanket and had a blue hat on.

"Just sit down and I'll pass him to you." He sat down in a rocking chair without a second thought and the nurse passed Noah to him.

The instant he looked down to him, his anger was gone. Now all that was left was his grief. It wasn't his fault. No, it never had been. Then he looked to see Tucker watching him through a window on the door. He looked like he was crying, but Church couldn't tell. Nor did he care to.

"I think I have a perfect middle name for you," he paused, looking at him. "Beth. Noah Beth Church."

Everything seemed to move too fast from there on. Church could barely describe any of it. He had to learn to take care of Noah while dealing with his love's death, he had to juggle with work and deal with Wash. Wash was the hardest thing he remembers.

Wash had found out and told him about everything. He had been planning to still reprogram him and let the Director go. Church remembers telling Wash to run his sorry ass home before he kicked his ass and Wash polity accepted.

Tucker stayed with him until the funeral was over and then took off for Detroit because he couldn't stand to be there. But he said that he was sorry before leaving and wished Church luck. Caboose came down for a week, but left because he said he hated babies. Sister stopped by for a couple of days and helped him babysit and then promptly left as he expected. Simmons stopped by and stayed for a couple of weeks before he had to leave for a science convention in Toronto. Sarge stopped by and stayed for a month before he returned to his wife---Jen---in Idaho. The Director----in an attempt to make peace----stayed for one week. Lastly Donut stayed for three months before he had to go home to see his parents, but promised to come back soon.

Once everyone was gone, Church fell into a regular routine he liked a lot more than having visitors all the time at least. His days were jam-packed to the max and some nights he never slept at all. Others he would lay awake thinking of Tex or others he'd swear he heard her voice; so fluent, pure and clear, but angry. His mind would race with thoughts hours afterward and sometimes---depending on when he'd heard it---he wouldn't sleep again after that. One time he was up for two days in a row until he finally passed out completely on his bed.

But minus having those issues, everything seemed to be moving along smoothly to his surprise.

Noah had smiled at him for the first time and he had gotten a promotion. None of it made sense to him, though. What had he done to get this life? He sure hadn't done anything heroic or goodhearted. At moments like that, he reminded himself that he was alone; all he had was Noah. Without him, he was lost. Basically, without his job and his son, Church would have curled up into a ball and died a long time ago. So he threw himself into what he had left: work, cleaning, arguing with neighbors, arguing with Caboose over the phone, Noah and arguing with everyone else.

But he found it hard one day, sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of steaming coffee in his hand on a crisp and cool morning.

What was going to happen to him? He couldn't continue hiding forever, could he? Could he just hang out doing what he was doing forever? No, Noah would grow and need him less and less, work would never get more entertaining, cleaning was just a dead end, he would lose things to argue about and those long distance calls to Caboose were running up his phone bill. He couldn't stay this way forever. Something would have to change at some point to spice up his routine. _A woman, _a voice echoed in his head that sounded like no one he knew. No, he thought, how could he ever find another woman to live up to the expectations he had for Tex? How could anyone else ever live up to her in his mind? The thought scared him more than never changing at all. But, he thought, what would Tex want him to do? It was a tough question, but the answer was obvious.

And somehow he tried to avoid it and shook his head, clearing it of the thoughts as he heard Noah begin to cry in the other room. Church stood before he heard what sounded like the rocking chair in his room creak and the crying seized. What was going on in there? Church asked himself that more than once quietly as he crept in.

The floor was creaking under his feet and he could also still hear the rocking chair. As he entered, he saw nothing out of the ordinary; just Noah sleeping in his crib.

Wait, sleeping? Hadn't he just been crying? Church looked around the room as if he thought someone had broken in.

Nothing, everything was normal. Had he imagined that sound? Was it just his insanity kicking in? Or had he heard it?

He shook his head and kissed Noah's head before sitting down in the rocking chair.

After a moment, he noticed two things: one, the chair wasn't creaking, two, he could smell lilacs. He looked around again; still, nothing unusual.

Then it hit him, lilacs was Tex's perfume. Why on earth could he smell it like she was sitting on his lap? He hadn't touched the bottle since she'd passed. It made no sense. He had to be insane. That was his only logical explanation. Though, did logic ever apply to _him_ or _her_? No, no it didn't, he thought and shook it off and headed back to the dining room. He grabbed the paper and set his coffee in front of him. On the front page was about a bad storm coming in from the gulf predicted to hit this afternoon. He'd be at work and wasn't looking forward to driving home in it. He looked down to see an article of the Director. He was doing some Go Green work in Utah.

Then he saw one about a man who had shot his wife to death while intoxicated. It hurt him. How could someone have done that? Church could have never laid a finger on Tex, mot even if he'd wanted to. Somehow, he found her to be fragile even though he knew she was anything _but. __But. But. _Maybe she was. How could he have known for sure? Sure, she'd passed away, but that had nothing to do with if she was fragile or not. That was just a rare accident and no one was responsible as he'd first believed. It wasn't Tex's or his or Noah's fault. No, it was none of their faults. He couldn't help but wondered what would have happened if she'd never gotten pregnant though. Would she still be alive? Or would her weird disease have killed her off?

He shook his head.

There was really no way of telling.

He turned the page and saw there was an article about new homes. Would he ever buy a house? Maybe, it kind of depended if he ever had a reason to. If it was always just him and Noah he would just stay here. If he somehow fell in love again, he might move then. But he doubted that anyway. Love wasn't exactly a subject of discussion for him right now.

Now he closed the newspaper and sighed and took a sip of his coffee. It seemed to burn his throat and he looked around, suddenly feeling like he was being watched.

He shook his head and then heard a knock at the door. When he opened it, no one was there. "Real funny," he murmured, but when he turned around, a ghostly face was meeting his. It didn't seem to resemble anyone he knew and he immediately recoiled and felt adrenaline rush into his veins. "What the hell!?" he shouted as it neared.

He started running down the hallway with his legs feeling heavier by the moment. It chased him and he looked to the stair, but when he reached them, they were gone. "Huh?" Suddenly he turned, feeling cooler and saw the ghost in his face.

It pushed him down what looked like a never ending pit of despair. "Ah!" He grabbed the edge and held on for dear life with one hand; but after a moment, his hand slipped and he started falling.

He suddenly woke up from his nightmare, sitting at the kitchen table with his head on the newspaper, Noah crying, his phone ringing and someone knocking at the door.

How long had he been asleep? He looked at his coffee that was still steaming.

He must have fallen sleep after checking on Noah.

First he answered the phone while heading to Noah "Hello?" he must have sounded like he hadn't slept in ten days.

"It's Faith, are you okay? I've been knocking for twenty minutes and called you twice." He rubbed his face, feeling defeated and walked to the crib. "Leonard, you there?" Had he heard her? "You're acting strange today." He yawned and put the pacifier back in Noah's mouth, but he spit it back out.

"Yes, I am dammit. Just leave me alone, I'll let you in. Just give me one damn second." She noted he seemed to be in a bad mood.

"Okay, I'll be waiting outside." He then hung up and picked up Noah.

"Come on, Buddy." He walked to the door an opened it. Faith—Noah's babysitter---was standing outside. She had darker skin then him, black hair to her elbows, brown eyes and was wearing a light blue tee-shirt, blue jeans and pink sandals. "Hey." She walked in.

"Hey, Leonard, shouldn't you be dressed for work?" He knew he should be.

"Yeah, I fell asleep at the table, but I'm going to change now." He passed crying Noah to her and took off to the bedroom.

Upon opening the closet, he couldn't help but notice Tex's clothes inside. It took a moment before he dug his work clothes from inside and changed-----a blue button up, tan pants and brown shoes. He tucked his shirt in before grabbing a black bag and stopped himself from crying. The closet door squeaked when he closed it as he walked to the door without a word, looking back to see Faith holding Noah and feeding him a bottle.

That should be Tex, he thought, she deserves to be the one standing there with him in her arms.

With a sigh, he dragged himself from the apartment and took off for work. Still his chest hurt for the most part as he thought about Tex the whole way.

He saw people holding hands in the park, people dining together at a café and families at the beach. Church was reminded of his dream that had now become more of a nightmare. Every time he saw families on the beach, he remembered. He didn't want to of course, but did he have a choice? Not really. His thoughts seemed to do what they wanted for now. Maybe they'd settle down someday.

The work day went as usual.

When he looked out the window on his way out, it was pouring, the wind was at least sixty miles per hour, the sky black and the window was freezing, meaning it was probably colder outside.

With a sigh, he walked down the stairs and through the lobby to the exit. He felt like he'd just been shut in a freezer instantly as the rain hit him with the gusty winds and he heard thunder sound as he got in his car, slamming the door. After a moment to get back some body temperature, he started the car before shifting on the air conditioner. It blew cold air in his face that was covered in water droplets, causing him to snarl before repositioning it to point away. After a moment he clutched the steering wheel like mother clutched a child.

He wasn't going to lie, he was nervous driving in storms like these.

He sighed and backed out, and then pulled from the parking lot and started down the road to his apartment. It was currently an hour and a half drive, and he was nervous for it to be honest.

As he drove he saw trees swaying in the wind and some kids almost moving in the wind by the gas station as they hung onto their parent's hand. Though he wasn't worried about any of that. What he was worried about was himself.

When driving down a country road, he had to go through that had a lot of deer. Two people had died trying to avoid them in the past month. Mostly because hunting season was nearing and they hadn't been hunted for awhile.

Twenty minutes later—when he turned onto the road---he tightened his grip on the steering wheel and watched the road carefully.

Would he try and avoid one? Or would he just try and run it over? Neither was something he wanted to do. If he tried to avoid one, he could crash; if he tried to run one over, he could crash too, and plus, he would certainly kill it. Nothing he wanted to face. It's one of the major fears that come with driving and it increases when you're a single parent. If he got killed, his son would only have his godfather, Tucker. Not something he wanted either of them to face.

Church shook his head from those thoughts. How could he think those things?

When the rain increased in intensity and the wind picked up, his visibility got worse than it already was. He cursed under his breath more than once before the visibility became lost and he had to rely on memory and the yellow lines that seemed almost a mile apart at that moment.

He looked to the windshield to see enough to not have to use the yellow lines. Maybe he was at the front system, but he couldn't tell. How could he?

Then in an instant, he came face to face with his worst nightmare----the unexpected and unimaginable. A woman had accidentally stopped in the middle of the road and her young daughter about seven was with her.

He had to turn, there was no other options.

So he quickly hit the brakes and turned his steering wheel as fast as he could. His car slid and hit a slight bump in the road, causing it to go rolling as the mother and daughter ducked just in time for the car to flip over head. When it stopped it stopped right-side up. He just looked around before feeling pain in his head and legs. He felt wind and rain blowing through his window.

His head felt heavy and his vision was going black. He sat up from the steering wheel and saw blood on it and he felt some run down his face.

He moaned softly and felt everything go dull before his vision went black.

The next thing he remembered, was waking up in the emergency room with nurses running around him and hovering above; his head felt foggy and his vision was still almost blind. He couldn't speak either and his heart rate seemed irregularly slowed. He couldn't draw in a breath and pain shot through his body with every movement he attempted.

A nurse grabbed his hand and spoke, but it sounded like he was underwater. Then a doctor hovered above him with a light, flashing it in his eyes. He couldn't shut them no matter how hard he tried because the light hurt. His hearing suddenly started to return and his senses start to return also. "Can you hear us?" The doctor asked and Church moaned.

"Y...es..." The doctor nodded.

"Can you move?" he moved his hand, but a shooting pain shot through him. "Okay, just stay still. Everything is going to be." Then Church went black again.

When he woke, he was sitting down staring straight to a TV and open door. His body felt weaker than after running around Dallas twice, his head hurt and his vision was still a bit blurry. When he tried to move, he felt pain rush through his entire body.

Then he heard Tucker. "Don't try and move, you got your ass kicked." Church moaned and Tucker stood. "Just don't try and do anything."

"How...how long have I been out?" his voice was faint and barely loud enough to be called a whisper.

"Four hours." Church looked to the clock above the TV and his neck started to burn: seven PM.

"Tucker...call the babysitter..." Tucker smiled.

"Already done." Church would have cocked an eye brow if he could have. "I called shortly after I came here." Church didn't question any further on the subject. "You had a gash on your forehead and your legs were pretty screwed up." Tucker couldn't tell if he was listening, but decided to continue. "You have a mild concussion and they figure you'll be in the hospital for about three days." Church was surprised at how informed he was. Not anything like him. Usually he was uninformed. But Church wasn't complaining, hell he liked this Tucker better anyway.

Everything seemed to move quickly after that again. Doctors and nurses coming and going like wild animals in the forest. He had one broken leg, he got dizzy easily and his neck was sore from getting a bit of whiplash. But he headed home accordingly and had help from Tucker getting up the stairs, who also agreed to help out until he was able to walk down the stairs. It was going to be awhile---Tucker wasn't _that _retarded---but he was willing to stay. It's not like he couldn't do anything here that he could in Detroit. All he cares about is picking up---or more _flirting_---with women and the dating scene may even be better in Texas.

After getting settled, Church called an attorney. He wasn't too fond of the idea about suing those people, but he couldn't pay all the bills alone. He was a single father and that just wasn't an option. So he called and arranged a meeting. They met the next day over lunch across the apartment. It went fairly well through Church's eyes and they discussed the important topics first. Then they moved to smaller details. Everything seemed to move smoothly and perfectly, and when they met in court, everything ended just as well. The family agreed to pay and everything.

I guess it depends on what you call end well, though. Church was still lonely and after his leg recovered, Tucker left again, leaving him to his same schedule as before. Working sixteen hours and seven days and lying awake all night. Nothing seemed to have changed at all too much of Church's disappointment. He still lay awake daydreaming of Tex and if he did fall asleep, he had nightmares.

Why had this happened to him? What sin was so bad to cause this? What had he done?

On a warm night, Church did something he hadn't done in over a thousand years. He got down at the foot of his bed and prayed for forgiveness. Prayed harder than he ever had before. Then as he lay in bed, he actually fell asleep.

Had it worked? He doubted it. Church wasn't religious and truly wasn't a firm believer in God or faith. All it seemed like to him was lies people told themselves to stay out of a mental health clinic. But he had tried, hoping somehow just maybe...


	11. End

Chain Letters: EpilogueThat morning, Church awoke with a strange rejuvenation surrounding him and he didn't want to get up. For the first time in months, he was sleeping. He sighed an turned over to where Tex had laid. Everything was still dark and he had his eyes closed. But he felt the warmth of some else and quickly shot open his eyes and flipped on the light. A women laid next to him. He stared at the figure. Who was it? How had she gotten in here? And why was she laying in bed with him? "Who are you?" She moved and looked at him with sleepy eyes. Could it be? No, it couldn't. No way, it was a dream. "Tex?" She smiled. "Did you think you could get rid of me that easily?" she asked and he looked around. "Hit me." She tilted her head. "Why?" "Because I think I'm dreaming." She then slapped him and kissed him. It was real, he knew it now, but how? What had he done? He just tried to enjoy her and pulled her to him as she wrapped her arms around his head. "Tex..." He finally said with tear filled eyes. "I love you. Where did you go?" She smiled and ran her hand through his hair as they sat on their knees. "I love you too. And it's kind of a long story. I came back as soon as I could. I'm sorry." He then hugged her and closed his eyes with a sigh. She hugged him back with as much strength as she had. "God I missed you." She sighed closing her eyes. "I missed you too." They hugged silently for awhile before he spoke again. "Do you want to see Noah?" She nodded and he knew. So they walked to Noah's room and Tex looked at him from the doorway and hugged Church. "You're the best father in the universe," she whispered and he hugged her tightly in return. "Only because I learned from the best mother." She smiled and then kissed him. Years seemed to pass almost as quick as months from then on. Everything was how it should be in the world. Though she never did explain her absence… Ten Years Later They were all out on the beach with blankets, Noah was now seven and was making sandcastles with Tex out in the sunlight while Church was up in the shade under an umbrella with his daughter---Allie, four----and was putting some suntan lotion on her with his sunglasses on an wearing blue swim trunks. He felt annoyed about how many tourists were on the beach, it was starting to pack and he didn't like that. Never had and never will. Tex seemed entirely comfortable on the other hand. She was wearing a gray swimsuit and had her sunglasses on her head instead of wearing them correctly. Her eyes squinted and legs crossed as she laid leaning on her hands. Their son was now walking around looking for shells as he finished up and sent Lacy off. She went down to her mom and sat down next to her. Church just had evaluated his family for a moment. Tex was now brushing around Allie's curly red hair, Noah was searching for shells still or maybe it was crabs---he couldn't tell----and Allie was uncoordinatedly playing with a plastic kids shovel as they all looked happy as could be. His daughter was wearing a dotted swimsuit and his son was wearing blue swim trunks with goggles for snorkeling on his head and missing teeth front teeth. They all had tousled hair and Tex had since cut hers to her chin like it had been in Valhalla. Everything was how it should be. He walked over to his son and they both stopped completely. "What, Dad?" Church smiled. "What are 'ya looking for down here?" His son lifted up an empty and broken conch. "Looking for a not empty conch. Do you think I can find one?" Church looked around. "Maybe with a little luck." "So you don't think so?" Church crossed his arms. "Sorry, Dad, but I was cursed with your unluckiness." He looked to Tex. "I'm not unlucky, I'm the complete opposite. I have you, your sister, your mother, a house, job and you guys. You wouldn't believe how lucky I am." Noah just stared at him with emerald eyes. "Okay…? Will you help me find a conch?" Church nodded and then he turned to Tex who winked at him. He winked back. After a few minutes, his son yelled in excitement, "Dad! I found one! Hurry up!" He jogged over to his son and he poked the conch and it moved from the crab underneath. "Told you." His son laughed as Tex and Allie ran over. "He's hurting it, Mommy!" Lacy yelped. "No, he's not darling, just playing with it." Tex winked at Church again, them both knowing it was a lie. "Are you sure?" she yelped again. "Yes." Tex picked her up and sighed. "Let's go draw in the sand sweetie." Then Tex kissed Church lightly before walking off. "I'm very lucky son." Church felt the wind whisk through his hair and saw it in his son's hair, Tex's hair, Allie's and everyone else's on the beach----fluttering. "So very lucky." he said breathlessly as he looked to the perfect blue sky, knowing everything was how it should be. The End


End file.
